Thursday, May 7, 2009

Gym Thoughts

I was at the gym yesterday, busily huffing (not to mention puffing) on one of their lovely and delightsome torture machines. Since I'm a compulsive reader from way back, I was looking around the room for some sort of something to read that would distract me from my pain-n-agony.

And then what to my wondering eyes should appear but . . . something to read! O happiest of happy days! My "something to read" turned out to be a nicely laid out advertisement in a clear frame, set on the counter right in front of me. I was exceedingly thrilled to have my very own personal distraction.

I started at the top of the advertisement (as I am wont to do) and as I read along, I discovered that the gym was offering a special Mother's Day package. I thought, "How nice!"

Reading a little further, I saw that the package included an hour long massage.

I thought, "How even nicer!"

Continuing to read, I discovered that this fabulous Mother's Day gift also included three sessions with a personal trainer.

Hmmmm. I pondered that for just a moment before reading further and finding out that the final item in the package was a private consultation with a registered dietitian.

Okay people. I'm just trying to think how I would feel (especially if I had a little extra weight to lose) if Steve were to present me with a Mother's Day package including sessions with a trainer and a dietitian. I mean, WHAT exactly is that saying? "I love you, honey. Lose some weight."

Is it just me, or is that not a smart idea?

Now I can understand the logic of purchasing this package if a man has been told by his wife that she would LOVE to go to the gym and meet with trainers and dietitians. Then I say, "Go for it!"

But fellas, if you just appear out of the blue with a Gift Certificate like this in your hand, when your wife has never expressed any interest in a gym? Then my advice to you is to be prepared for a few nights on the couch. Or in the dog house. (Literally and figuratively.)

And don't even THINK about getting her a Thigh Master. In fact, if you give your wife any exercise-based item without her request, she will use said exercise weapon to wop you upside the head.

And you will deserve it.

Now if you'll humor me for just a moment, I have one more Gym Thought I'd like to write about. Actually it has to do with gyms AND the whole weight losing process. A year ago when I had thirty pounds--and a bunch of inches--to lose, I am so grateful that my hubby never, ever made me feel less than loved or less than attractive. He never stopped complimenting me and telling me I was beautiful and he never once inferred that I would be more appealing to him without all my extra "fluffiness."

Unconditional love is a wonderful thing and it's one of the best gifts my husband has ever given me.

Okay. That's all for the mushiness.

Before I close, let me just say how much I would love to hear any stories you all may have of previous Mother's Days (or birthdays) when you received some "interesting" gifts. Do tell! It will give us all something to chortle over.

And it's a proven fact that chortling burns calories. I think one of those gym dietitians figured that out.

10 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

Anonymous said...

Not necessarily for mother's day, but I have received from my Significant Other an ironing board and an electric can opener (different occasions). I did not request these items.

For my 21st birthday my SO gave me a softball bat and diamond earings, which I thought was an interesting combo.

Pam D said...

Anonymous made me laugh out loud, AFTER I already laughed out loud at your post, Becky. My dog is giving me strange looks. Fortunately, she does not have opposable thumbs and therefore cannot pick up the phone receiver to call the looney bin. yay.
Hubby has done nicely on Mother's Day; an engraved gold locket one year, and gift certificates to nice day spas a couple of times. But one year was just a little weird. He brought in a couple of dozen roses (nice!), and a stuffed, very realistic looking black persian cat. ??? We had a cat at the time, and I love cats but seriously.. ???? Adam was maybe 2 or 3, and of course HE adopted the cat. I did like the roses, though. And none of it had a plug, which is always good. I do think a softball bat paired with diamond earrings beats my stuffed cat by a mile...

Anonymous said...

Softball bats paired with diamond earrings and stuffed cat are both pretty funny.

We have a tradition at Christmas...we open one gift each on Christmas eve..they are always pjs...I buy for everyone but myself..My husband (usually with my daughter) buys time years ago, the two of us were at the mall....we had gone different directions...I see him coming out of Lane Bryant with a shopping bag...I walked up and said, What's in the Lane Bryant bag? He said your Christmas jammies...I said, "WHAT?" He looked at many pretty funny....I said, do you know that is a big lady store???
No, he said he did not know that...he bought size Mediums...I have never let him live that down. I'm 5'7" and weigh 138....Most of the time he just lets me buy whatever I want for Mothers Day, etc... :)

Anonymous said...

Nothing wild stands out from Mother's Day gifts but I did once recieve a sun-visor organizer from hubby for Christmas. I didn't know quite what to say!!
My favorite Mother's Day treats are the sweet cards and gifts made by my little ones at pre-school. I'm a sucker for all the hand and foot prints and glittered cards.

Anonymous said...

Not for Mother's Day, either, but on our first anniversary (which also happens to be my birthday) I received a large garbage can (we had just moved in our house), a knife sharpener and, lucky for him, a pair of black hills gold earrings...

He has gotten better in the gift department...probably because I now give him a wish list! L.

Unknown said...

Here is my 1st ever Mother's Day....our son was just 1 1/2 months old and Mothers Day was fast approaching and I was so excited to final be in "the club". I didn't hear any mention of plans so I finally asked my husband what his plans were for the weekend. His response? "I have a basketball tournament on Sunday"....SUNDAY...My day, MOTHERS DAY. I stood there stunned and he noticed and asked why I looked like I did. When I told him it was Mother's Day he replied "Can't we celebrate it another day?". NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER to a new mommy of the cutest baby in the world. That was 9 years and 3 kids ago and he is still trying to make up for it. I am not holding my breath for this Mothers Day due to us trying to sell the house and a couple vans and praying that God will get our businesses going at full steam again....I am just happy that he remembers and shows me everyday (not just Mothers Day).

Amie said...

My husband hasn't done odd Mother's Day gifts since he usually just forgets! Thank goodness for great teachers who usually come through with something cute for my kids to do. I love those handmade cards and expressions of love.

I do, however, have a worst gift story from childhood. I was about ten when I opened my Christmas gift from my grandmother. The box was a hairdryer and I was so excited since I was just entering that tween phase where I cared about such things. Grandma hemmed and hawed and told me to open the box, and lo and behold, I open it to find a purse. Now mind you, this wasn't just any purse; it was my grandma's old purse she had handed me to throw up in on a car trip where we were trapped and couldn't pull over. So yeah, she washed the puked in purse, then wrapped it up and gave it to me for Christmas. Yikes!

MaryH said...

Happy Mother's Day, Becky. Hope it is full of smiles and fun.

deb8able said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

A teacher at my elementary school once received the oddest gift I ever saw for Teacher Appreciation Day. Inside was an empty (or at least mostly empty) wine bottle with a string of white Christmas lights stuffed inside. The plug stuck out the top so she could plug it in...