I am taking a break from sugar.
For a month. An entire month. Thirty whole, entire, long, gruesome, horrible, sad, sugar-less days.
That’s a very good question.
Partly as a spiritual discipline. Partly as self discipline. And partly to lose a few of the Christmas pounds that crept over and uponst my body when I wasn’t looking.
And WHY wasn’t I looking? Well, I wasn’t looking because it’s hard to look AND eat sugary desserts, all at the same time.
So far, my little ol’ sugar break has been going pretty well. We went to a church member’s house for dinner last night and she served homemade chocolate meringue pie AND homemade cinnamon rolls.
But I was strong. I was disciplined. I was fabulous. I Just. Said. No.
And today, I was also doing pretty well, even though our dear wonderful hostess opted to send half the pie AND some cinnamon rolls home with us!
I was doing pretty well, that is, until I logged onto The Pioneer Woman..
THAT was a mistake. That was a BIG mistake.
Because today, Ree Drummond (AKA The Pioneer Woman and one of the best bloggers alive) shared her recipe for pound cake. POUND. CAKE.
Now this is not a fact that is widely known throughout the civilized world, but I’m just going to share with you right now that the reason that Pound Cake is called Pound Cake is because every slice you eat adds (at least) a pound to your body. I know this for a fact.
In fact, I have done personal, irrefutable research on this topic and am now a world renowned expert on the subject of how personal human poundage is caused by the personal partaking of pound-inducing, pound-producing Pound Cakes.
Pound cakes are crispy on the outside and soft and moist inside. They’re good warmed with ice cream. They’re good plain, and they’re good cold, and they’re good hot and tepid and lukewarm and every other temperature that has ever been recorded in the Annals of Pound Cake Temperature History.
And so that is why I am not happy with Pioneer Woman. Because when I was at my very weakest, she posted this photo.
And she had the temerity to post this recipe.
- 3 sticks Butter
- 3 cups Sugar
- 5 whole Eggs
- 1 teaspoon Butter Flavoring
- 2 teaspoons Lemon Flavoring
- 3 cups All-purpose Flour
- 1 cup Sprite, 7-UP, Or Sierra Mist
Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
Cream butter. Add sugar, 1 cup at a time, mixing after each addition. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing after each addition. Add butter and lemon extracts and mix well. Add flour, 1 cup at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add soft drink, then mix together until combined. Scrape sides of bowl, then mix briefly.
Pour into a greased Bundt pan and bake for 1 hour to 1 hour 10 minutes, until the cake is no longer jiggly.
Remove cake from oven and invert pan until cake drops out. Slice and chow down.
After I saw the picture, and read the recipe, I was NOT amused. Or impressed. Or appreciative. Or happy.
In fact, I may be mistaken but I think that I gained two pounds just by looking at the poundage of the aforementioned Pound Cake.
I guess I should stop whining about this, sign off, and go have a dish of yogurt. Or something.
I mean, if I use my imagination, vanilla yogurt is sort of, kind of like Pound Cake. Isn’t it? I guess the only difference is that it doesn’t have three sticks of butter. Or three cups sugar. Or five whole eggs.
But other than that? They’re exactly the same.
So. I’m off to have some (almost like Pound Cake) yogurt.
And to regretfully rue the reading of Ree’s blog.