Saturday, January 16, 2010

Not Happy With The Pioneer Woman

I am taking a break from sugar.

For a month. An entire month. Thirty whole, entire, long, gruesome, horrible, sad, sugar-less days.


That’s a very good question.

Partly as a spiritual discipline. Partly as self discipline. And partly to lose a few of the Christmas pounds that crept over and uponst my body when I wasn’t looking.

And WHY wasn’t I looking? Well, I wasn’t looking because it’s hard to look AND eat sugary desserts, all at the same time.

So far, my little ol’ sugar break has been going pretty well. We went to a church member’s house for dinner last night and she served homemade chocolate meringue pie AND homemade cinnamon rolls.

But I was strong. I was disciplined. I was fabulous. I Just. Said. No.

And today, I was also doing pretty well, even though our dear wonderful hostess opted to send half the pie AND some cinnamon rolls home with us!

I was doing pretty well, that is, until I logged onto The Pioneer Woman..

THAT was a mistake. That was a BIG mistake.

Because today, Ree Drummond (AKA The Pioneer Woman and one of the best bloggers alive) shared her recipe for pound cake. POUND. CAKE.

Now this is not a fact that is widely known throughout the civilized world, but I’m just going to share with you right now that the reason that Pound Cake is called Pound Cake is because every slice you eat adds (at least) a pound to your body. I know this for a fact.

In fact, I have done personal, irrefutable research on this topic and am now a world renowned expert on the subject of how personal human poundage is caused by the personal partaking of pound-inducing, pound-producing Pound Cakes.

Pound cakes are crispy on the outside and soft and moist inside. They’re good warmed with ice cream. They’re good plain, and they’re good cold, and they’re good hot and tepid and lukewarm and every other temperature that has ever been recorded in the Annals of Pound Cake Temperature History.

And so that is why I am not happy with Pioneer Woman. Because when I was at my very weakest, she posted this photo.

pound cake

And she had the temerity to post this recipe.

  • 3 sticks Butter
  • 3 cups Sugar
  • 5 whole Eggs
  • 1 teaspoon Butter Flavoring
  • 2 teaspoons Lemon Flavoring
  • 3 cups All-purpose Flour
  • 1 cup Sprite, 7-UP, Or Sierra Mist

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Cream butter. Add sugar, 1 cup at a time, mixing after each addition. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing after each addition. Add butter and lemon extracts and mix well. Add flour, 1 cup at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add soft drink, then mix together until combined. Scrape sides of bowl, then mix briefly.

Pour into a greased Bundt pan and bake for 1 hour to 1 hour 10 minutes, until the cake is no longer jiggly.

Remove cake from oven and invert pan until cake drops out. Slice and chow down.

After I saw the picture, and read the recipe, I was NOT amused. Or impressed. Or appreciative. Or happy.

In fact, I may be mistaken but I think that I gained two pounds just by looking at the poundage of the aforementioned Pound Cake.


I guess I should stop whining about this, sign off, and go have a dish of yogurt. Or something.

I mean, if I use my imagination, vanilla yogurt is sort of, kind of like Pound Cake. Isn’t it? I guess the only difference is that it doesn’t have three sticks of butter. Or three cups sugar. Or five whole eggs.

But other than that? They’re exactly the same.

So. I’m off to have some (almost like Pound Cake) yogurt.

And to regretfully rue the reading of Ree’s blog.

12 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

Sue G said...

Oh, Becky:

My heart goes out to you. A month without sugar. What a loss. A loss of fatigue, a loss of weight, a loss of cavity causing saliva in your mouth, a loss of that sluggish feeling, a loss of the urge to eat another and another and another cookie after the taste of the first one.

My condolences on your loss(es).

And my congratulations on your self-control. The only fruit of the spirit I don't like, I might add. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

My dad's favorite dessert was to smear a slice of pound cake with butter and then toast it in a skillet. Then cover the warm, toasted, buttered slice with ice cream! Can sugar be really all that bad?!!
Debbie Taylor

Anonymous said...

Hi Becky: I too don't eat desserts, but have just discovered a wonderful substitute--Yoplait Delights Parfait. They are new and come in yummy flavors---Lemon Torte, Creme Caramel and Chocolate Raspberry (my favorite).

Anonymous said...

Yesterday we made Ree's biscuits in Preschool.
(Our theme this month is Home on the Range.)
They were okay, but I decided I much prefer sweet recipes when we doing our monthly cooking snack.
I would have been much happier, I'm sure, with her Pound Cake. I've also enjoyed eating it the way Debbie's dad fixed it.

Do you have The Pioneer Woman's cookbook? It is fun reading and EVERY recipe is guaranteed to add a few pounds since she cooks for the hungry hard-working cowboys!

mrs pam

Anonymous said...

I love the Pioneer Woman - I even recorded when she was on the Bonnie Hunt Show because she is so funny! She would be someone I would be friends with in real life. Good luck with the no sugar thing - I know it works! (It's just not fun.) I want to make poundcake tomorrow - and maybe add poppyseeds and almond extract. Yum. L in AK

Melissa said...

Well, after your 30 day sugar avoidance is over, whip one of those pound cakes up and chow down on the sucker! I know I would!

Catherine said...

Though the sugar (3 cups!!!) is a problem in that recipe, replacing it with Stevia isn't going to do much good with all the other stuff in there. But a little stevia can go a long way, and reduce some of the calorie intake. I usually cut the sugar in most recipe by half because I don't like things that sweet.

Can we replace the butter with yogurt somehow? That and the stevia might make a dent in the calories.

Stephanie said...

Every where I turn (on the internet) I am seeing pictures of Ree's pound cake. I have succummed to the power of suggestion. At 11:32pm on a Sunday night, I have just pulled my pound cake from the oven.

Congratulations on your self-control. I too hope to get where you are some day. You should get a calendar and mark off the days until you can eat this cake. Something like an Advent calendar with a picture of the cake on Feb 1st.

Anonymous said...

try her cauliflower soup. I made it on Friday and it is to die for. I also made the ice cream pie and it was great too. That pound cake looks dreamy!!

Your expat friend from Africa!

Regina and Madie said...

Becky, I saw that picture on her website the other day and almost fainted, it looked so great! And she added lemon, which makes my mouth water! AUGH!
You are so brave to go a whole month without sugar! I am sending prayers for strength for your accomplishment!
Hugs and Love!!!!.....regain

Ann Martin said...

I thought it would be a good idea to give up sweets for a month. Don't know if I'll make it that long without chocolate. Now is not the time to start--Relay Kick Off Thursday, Pastor's birthday Sunday, Blood Drive Monday, and Fifth Sunday Night Sing on the 31st. All will have GREAT sweets!!! Maybe it is a good time to avoid extra pounds. My son is getting married April 17 and I would like to lose 5 - 10 pounds before then. Can I still have juice and fruit?

Shannon said...

Oh I'm so with you, why did she have to post that darn you P-Dub...

Good luck with the no sugar goal!!!