Note: Since I’ll be on the road most of the day for my pre-op appointment (and yes, a lunch stop at Chick-Fil-A), I am leaving Smithellaneous in the very capable hands of Snowy, the original Blog Dog! And Boss Man!
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Hi. Snowy here.
It appears as though my sister is currently in the process of doing what all females feel compelled to do. At some point. Sooner or later. Eventually. Too often.
Yup. She’s redecorating. Repainting. Redoing. Reorganizing.
I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what it looks like to you?

Why can’t women ever be happy with old paint? With old stuff? With old, um, oldness? Why, I ask you?
And if it weren’t bad enough that women feel compelled to redecorate, it always seems that whenever there are redecorating projects to be done around our house, I’m invariably the one who is called out of Early Retirement (or at least Early Napping) to supervise it.
I mean, it never ends. Never. I get called in to oversee job after job after job.
And I hate to say this (please don’t repeat it), but The Fam doesn’t even pay me all that well. A few treats thrown my way, a dish or two of clean water, a couple belly scratches and they think I should be all content and filled with immense doggie joy.
Sigh.
However, I guess I’ll just have to try to make the best of it. And? Since misery loves company? Why don’t you come along with me and I’ll give you an inside look at what life as The Smith Top Dog is really like.
The first thing you need to know is that as an Official Smith Job Foreman, I have two sides.
The first side is the Steely Eyed, No Nonsense, Get-‘Er-Done Look.
The second side is the Super Approachable, Fluffy Fella Look.
I think the thing that makes me really extra brilliant and sets me apart from all the other Big Boss Guys is that I have an innate, inborn, ingrained, inbred sense as to which one of my personas to pull out at any given time. And just so you know? I usually go with the Fluffy Fella-ness side of me. I find that it gets better results.
And it also seems to have this mysterious effect of making people smile. And that’s always good, right?

Before each day’s work begins, I always get up on the highest point (east of the Mississippi) and give a little inspirational pep talk to my team. The main gist of the talk is, “If my midmorning snack is not in front of me by 9:59 am, I am outa here!” The Talk always does wonders for morale. (Well, for my morale, at least.)

But having said that, I do need to make one thing perfectly clear. I am not such a shallow dog that I am only concerned about snacks. I am also extremely concerned about workplace safety and am constantly investigating the materials that are being used on each of the job sites under my supervision.
Please also note that I am always quite diligent about keeping my cell phone close at hand in case I should ever need to call in any Important Federal Local Regional National Global Governmental Agencies to investigate any suspicious irregularities in materials or personnel. (Or, um, deficiencies of snacks in the break room.)

In this particular case, I am happy to report that the suspicious looking roll of paper towels passed inspection. Whew! Lots of suspense there for a moment.
It is now time to turn my razor sharp brain to other crucial matters at hand.

(Here’s the back of my brain, if you’re interested. You’re not? Oh. Well, never mind, then.)
At one point during this most recent job, there was a Momentary Crisis Moment when the Girl Currently Known As My Sister brought a putty knife over to my management area and threatened to put caulk on the end of my very own personal nose. Can you imagine anyone showing such blatant disregard to a doggie in my esteemed position?
Well, I’ll tell you one thing right now--I don’t take any disrespect from any insubordinate, no matter how cute she might be! I just got all up in her grille, pulled out my Steely Eyed Persona and put her right back into her place. Whoosh. The putty knife disappeared! Just like that!
Yup. You just have to know how to handle people.
The best perk of my current job environment is break time. However, I do want you to be fully aware that even during our breaks, I keep an eagle eye on the clock and am constantly monitoring how much time is passing. In fact, when Sarah started scratching my fluffy ol’ belly, I looked her right in the eye and said sternly, “Sarah, I will give you exactly one hour to stop doing that!”
After Sarah had stopped her scratchin’ and had gone back to working, I started to worry that maybe my mom was feeling a little left out of things. (She was on the other side of Sarah’s bed taking Very Important Pictures which shall be shared at a later time.)
As a veteran work place professional, I’ve always believed that a big part of being an effective boss is to make sure that all members of the team feel equally appreciated and important. I figured I should go on over and spend some quality time with her.
It’s a tough job making people feel important.
I’m talkin’ really, really tough.
But don’t worry. My aura of authority is so incredibly powerful that even when I’m taking a wee little break . . . er . . . nap, my workers still stay busy.
Hey. When you’re good, you’re good.