Thursday, March 4, 2010

Snowy Goes to College. (And Graduates.)

I know you’ve all been wondering, “Did Snowy really do it? Did he really succeed? Did he really graduate from college?”

The answers are “Yes,” “Yes,” and “Yes” again. And if you’re wondering what degree I received, it was my Bachelor’s Degree.

Um. A Bachelor’s Degree as in, “I am still a bachelor. I am still single.”

I must say though, that college is a tough place to stay a single man. Gabby Girl could hardly even concentrate on her studies, she was so distracted by my rugged good looks and fluffy physical prowess.

Think I’m kidding? Just take a gander at these pictures!

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"Aw, shucks.

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This is getting a little embarrassing. Look at the “cow eyes” she’s making at me.

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I hate to break a girl’s heart, but I have to say that I’m looking for someone with a bit more motivation, a bit more drive, a bit more focus. I mean, look at her, for crying out loud! Does this look like the kind of woman with a lot of “get up and go?” Does this look like the kind of gal who is going to cook me three meals a day and keep my kennel clean? I think not. Sorry, Gabby. (Although, once again, I do applaud you for so diligently adhering to the College Rule of two paws on the rug at all times. Good job!)

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So even though nothing really worked out between Gabby and me (hence my Bachelor’s Degree) I was still thankful she was there because when it came time for us to show everyone what we had learned at college, Gabby’s owner volunteered her to go first. (Thanks, Sarah, for not volunteering me. I would say I didn’t want to go first because I believe in “ladies first” but actually it’s because I wanted to see someone else go through her paces first so I would know what to do. I’m a strong leader, like that.)

Watching carefully.

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Closely observing the technique.

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Please take note of my complete mastery of the “two paw rule,” even while I’m focusing my immense mental powers on what’s going on in front of me.

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And now Maggie is coming to the end of her test which is to demonstrate the “stay” command. I’m pulling for you, Maggie. I’m on my feet for you! You can do it, girl! (Sorry. Got a little carried away there. But the two paws are still remaining. Man, I’m good!)

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And now? Now the professor is telling me it’s MY turn. I am one nervous fella.This one demonstration has the potential to decide my entire destiny as a professional man.

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The professor starts by laying a treat down on the floor to see if I have the self control to ignore it when walking by. I don’t. I’m a lot like my mom that way. (Um. Did I just say that out loud?)

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Looks like I won’t be passing THAT part of the test. Treats just call my name. Loudly. And I wouldn’t want to be rude and ignore them, now would I?

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As I listen to instructions as to what to do next, please note how nicely I am sitting and how carefully I am listening. (I impress even myself.)

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Showing off my lying down skills. Hey, when you’re good, you’re good.

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Waiting for Sarah tell me to “Come!”

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And for once (or twice) in my life, I obeyed. (Hey, there were girls in the room that needed to be impressed.)

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Did I do good? Huh, huh?

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Here are all of us college kids listening to the Prof’s last lecture.

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Listening is exhausting work.

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And finally? Finally, college comes to an end. It’s time to blow the joint. It’s time to take our degrees and go home. (Speaking of degrees, my mom says I should have gotten an award called, “Most Likely to Improve.” I think that she thinks that’s funny so I’ll humor her.)

However, before we take our little ol’ graduated selves and boogie on out of there, we have to first engage in a little happy talk and a little mingling.

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And I have to apologize to Gabby for breaking her heart.

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And now it really is time for us all to head out the door for the last time. Time to enter the real world. Time to send out resumes and get jobs. Time to take naps and lick ourselves in inappropriate places at inappropriate times.

Wait. What’s that? My Mom is asking everyone to come back into the room for a class picture? How embarrassing is that? What is it always MY mom who has to create a scene?

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Come on back, guys. Er, girls. Let’s move it here!

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Get goin’, Big Girl! (I mean, “Lovely Female Canine.”)

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Alright! Everyone get lined up! I will be your example! Follow me! Everyone follow me, I say! Oh. Wait. I think I’m pointing the wrong end at the camera. How humiliating. Let me get turned around here.

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Much better. Thanks, Sis.

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Um. Hello, girls? Look over there! Quick! It’s something shiny!

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Ah. Distract the competition. Be the only one posing. Life is good.

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5 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

Anonymous said...

Snowy
how could your sister manage not picking you up?
that's perseverance! I wouldn't be able to resist that face of yours! I noticed the flag in your classroom.
Did you have to learn the pledge of allegiance, too?
woof and love, and congrats on your graduation.

p.s. any thoughts on following up with a master's degree...
oh, I guess that would actually be for your mom, huh?

mrs pam

MaryH said...

Proud of you Snowy! You are looking cuter than ever.

Redeemed1 said...

Congratulations Snowy!

Sue G said...

Oh, yeah, sure, Snowy. Like you ever had a problem lying down!

Congrats on graduating college. I've heard older students are better students because they know why they're there.

Not sure your Mom caught a photo of THAT.

Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.