Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Snowy. A Dog of Many Hairstyles.

Hello. Snowy here.

My mom asked me to guest post today and I have chosen to write about the many hairstyles and “looks” that have been foisted upon me over the 11 years of my life.

(Actually, I probably shouldn’t say the looks have been “foisted” on me because, as a canine, I am not even allowed to use the word foisted because I have no idea what it means. However, since it appears as though I have already used said word, maybe I’ll just go with it. And then I will cease foisting on you discombobulated explanations of my convoluted word choices.)

Ahem. Alrighty then.

This is the “I’m Being Patient With My Sister Who Has Cancer And Am Allowing Her to Put a Woman’s Scarf on my Head Even Though It’s Humiliating” Look.PA230323

Here I am sporting the Long-N-Shaggy Sheep Dog Look.

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Even though I look just slightly crabby in this photo, I actually feel sort of like a cool surfer dude sporting my wind blown tresses.

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Oops. I may want to nix that whole “wind blown surfer” idea because it’s obvious that I am actually the CEO of a very large corporation. Of some sort. And that I have lots of old money to toss about. Kind of.

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It is quite clear to me that my mom has edited this post because I did not put this picture in because it does not feature me as much as it features my sister! But since it’s one of my mom’s favorite pictures of Sarah and me, I’ll let it remain. (Even though it was foisted upon me.)

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I think that in this picture it looks like I am having a Very Great Thought. (Even though I’m not. Obviously. Because I’m a dog.)

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My Imitation Polar Bear Look. I actually think it’s rather cool how my fur just blends right in with Sarah’s coat. We’re a mighty cute pair.

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This is my look designed to inspire numerous “Oh, Isn’t He a Cute Doggie” responses. Love that.

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I can’t even look at this “look” without wincing. What was the groomer thinking?

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This was in my hippie days when I wore my hair long and down to my collar. From what I can gather from this particular photo, it appears as though hippies are required to help with laundry. I don’t believe that was in my contract when I joined the Smith Family.

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When I was discharged from the Doggie Hospital after three days in ICU, the nurses had the nerve to fit me into the Cone of Shame. Which didn’t do much to enhance my manly, surfer dude persona.

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Okay. This is where the sharing gets a bit painful. It seems as though once one has worn a cone of shame, its removal creates a great crisis in the hair department.

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I look just like my mom when she first gets out of bed. (Did I say that out loud?)

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Not. Happy. Here.

I am not, repeat not, cut out to wear pink ears on my masculine head. So. Embarrassing.

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Ahem. The, um, Tousled Look? Maybe?IMG_3288

Would someone please speak to my family and tell them not to make me go so long between haircuts?

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I mean, really!

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Oops. I take that back. Looks like the groomer got a little happy with the scissors. And now she is allowed to go on with her life as though nothing tragic has happened while I am saddled with the burden of living my life looking. Like. This. (Is it just my imagination or do I look like a wee, white bobcat?)

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This is my Page Boy Dutch Maltese Doggie Look. Not a bad look, if I do say so myself.

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Even though I look a bit white and fluffy here, I do want you to know that I still have the ability to express my own opinions and put the “fear of dog” into all the neighborhood canines who happen to come near me. Is this an intimidating face or what?

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This would be my fluffy and confused look. I pull it off quite well, don’t you think?

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Nate and me are good buddies and often sit by the hour and share our hair care tips. Or not.

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My philosophy has always been, “When you’re having a bad hair day, distract people by opening your mouth very wide.” Works every time.

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And here I am at my finest. Not too poufy. Not too nekkid. Not too fluffy. Not too shorn. Just. Exactly. Right

If I do say so myself? I am one good-lookin’ fella.

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23 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

MaryH said...

Snowy, that was fun - you are the dude! Write again, very soon.

Anonymous said...

I have never commented before, but this post made me laugh out loud! I really needed that today!

DeAnn

Anonymous said...

Great job Sarah, it's nice to see family members are loved in all shapes, sizes and haircuts. It's funny how the traumatic cuts in the end turn out to be the ones you chuckle about and realize it certainly made an impression that is a part of your family's history. Maybe someday I will be down in your neck of the woods and stop by to say hello, I would enjoy that.

Jean C

Alyssa said...

I love that dog. I really really do.

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

Snowy is awesome..And obviously well loved. :)

Jan Reynolds said...

When Snowy got the bad hair cut a few months back I had to show my girls. Well last night my 15 year old daughter and I sat on my bed and laugh hysterically at the pics of him in this post. We both had tears!!! Thanks for sharing....

becky m said...

snowy might i suggest telling your mom and dad that next time they take you to get your haircut, they take that perfect haircut pic with them in hopes that the groomer can mimic it perfectly.

leeanne said...

Oh Snowy, you make me laugh out loud!! You have such a way with words! You are so cute that you can carry ANY look and do it well!

Beverly said...

Snowy looks so much like my Callie. They MUST be distant relatives. Precious pictures!

Anonymous said...

Snowy
I think I like the polar bear look best.
but, you do look quite fetching with the valentine antlers.
when I was a kid, I use to tie a napkin scarf-style on my standard poodle. actually, now that I think of it, I was a grown-up kid because my dog Christophe was named after one of my students whose Mom was French. Christophe aka Christopher looked quite funny and a little bewildered in his scarf, too.

mrs pam

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