Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Fuzzy Pretzels! A “Shatter Your Self Esteem” Recipe! Guidelines for Smith Visitations! And Other Stuff!

Um. When I wrote “fuzzy pretzels" in the title, I didn’t actually mean to say that the pretzels themselves were fuzzy. I meant to say that the pictures of the pretzels were fuzzy. A little. Because I kind of took the pictures in a hurry and therefore didn’t do a whole lot of Pre Picture Pretzel Photo Planning.

But at any rate, look at these babies. Are they wondrous, or what?


When you put these three items together? Culinary heaven happens. Culinary heavenly happiness happens!


What’s that? You say you’d like the recipe?

Well, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but the recipe is really pretty difficult. I don’t mean to insult you and your capacity for comprehending complexity or anything, but I really don’t want to frustrate you, my dear Smithellaneous reader, by giving you more than you can handle at any given time. I truly want you to leave this blog feeling good about yourself, not feeling like you are the worst cook on the planet just because you couldn’t handle a recipe that is so difficult not even Julia Child herself could master it.

What’s that?

You say you want to see the recipe anyway?

Well. (Sigh.) If you insist.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you and don’t come crying to me if your self esteem shatters all over the kitchen floor because you weren’t able to make this recipe work.

Are you ready? I mean--really, really ready? Well rested? Had your breakfast? Blood sugar up? Caffeine on board? House quiet so you can concentrate? Motivational CD playing in the background?

Okay. Here we go.

1. Heat oven to 240 degrees. (Have I lost you yet?)

2. Cover baking sheet with foil. (Are you still with me?)

3. Put one piece of candy on each pretzel. (Do I need to go slower?)

4. Bake for 4 minutes. (Oh, I just knew this was going to be too hard.)

5. Press half a pecan onto the candy and let it cool. (That’s it. I’ve changed my mind. I really don’t think it’s healthy for our relationship for me to burden with you these kinds of impossible assignments.)

So. Why don’t we just pretend like none of this has ever happened.



Whew! That was a close one!

Let’s move onto something happier. And simpler. And less challenging. Let’s move on to a picture of---hmmmm, let’s see--our kitchen table.

Yes, that’s it! Let’s look at our kitchen table!


Here are our paper napkins, folded into lovely, fan-like shapes!


And just why are we folding napkins and lighting candles for a Simple Smith Supper? It’s because we had dinner guests last night, that’s why!

Cindy (from California) and Chlorita (from Raleigh, NC) are friends who are on vacation in the area. Cindy has been a website friend for several years and is very active in writing to cancer kids and sending them little gifts and goodies along the way. (She is even sweet enough to send Nathan some goodies at college which is a good thing since, um, his own mother doesn’t do much in the way of goody-sending. But let’s not talk about that.)

At any rate, we had a lovely meal together and to make it even better, Cindy brought with her a homemade chocolate cake and the pretzel candies (and recipe) that were featured above. And although she didn’t exactly say this, I have come to my own little ol’ personal conclusion that chocolate nuggets like those, which are so dainty and petite-sized couldn’t possibly contain very many calories. I mean, the calories would just burst right out of the sides of the candy if there were a whole bunch of them lurking in there.

And so! I am happy to announce that I have deduced that each of those candies only contains three—yes, three!—calories! So enjoy! Without guilt!

And lastly (everyone breathes a sigh of relief, knowing I’m almost done), I would now like to make a brief comment/announcement/instructional sort of thing.

As you know, we live on the Outer Banks. (No surprise there, right?)

And as you also know, some of you occasionally come in this direction on vacation. (No surprise there, either.)

And occasionally, some of you may even inexplicably feel a brief, passing inclination to meet the Smith family on said visits. And you might wonder, “Would that be intrusive? Would it be rude for me to contact them? What, oh what, is the protocol for this dizzying dilemma?”

Well, here’s the deal. We are friendly folks. We enjoy meeting new people. And yes, we would even especially enjoy meeting members of our Smithellaneous family. But even if for some reason we knew that you were coming out here, the truth of the matter is that we would actually feel sort of intrusive about contacting you!

I mean, it seems just a wee bit egotistical to say, “Hmmm. Those Smithellaneous readers are going to be around next month; I bet they would just love to meet us.”

And so here’s the deal. If you’re ever out this way and would like to meet up? Shoot us an e-mail and we’ll do everything we can to make our schedules work so that we can meet you. (Contact info is at the top of the page.)

But we’ll leave it to you to do any initiating since a lot of people would probably love to come out here and vacation quietly without being stalked by the Smith Family. (The Smith Family Stalkers! Sort of like the Swiss Family Robinson. But not exactly.)

Anyway. Does that sound like a good plan? Good.

And now? Now I have about fifteen, 3-calories pretzel/Rollo candies that are calling my name. . .

(Final photo taken from the Internet by an actual Professional Pretzel Picture Taker.)


14 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

Anonymous said...

The way I make this snack with pretzels--is melt a hershey kiss and press and MM in the middle--our children love these!

MaryH said...

I am making these gems this weekend at my Grandson's house for sure - just watched Sarah's video at Sarah's Spot - everyone, run or click as fast as you can over to that site and watch - excellent job - bravo - gave me chills and smiles!

P.S. If I ever get anywhere near your area (which is doubtful but I am hopeful), I will give you a shout out.

jmckemie said...

Oh, my...cannot wait to make these!
If I am ever in that area, would love to meet you! That area is on my "bucket list" so you never know....

Anonymous said...

At Christmas time we put square pretzels with M&Ms and rolos! YUMMY!

Anonymous said...

Oooh, I love these, but I just put a Rollo on top of the pretzel (and a Ritz works in a pinch!) and MICROWAVE for 20 seconds, then press the nuts on top ~ fabulous, and no oven heating. I also have used the "chocolate dusted" (are there any two words more wonderful?) almonds...heaven. Really. L in AK

Anonymous said...

P.S. I just use a dinner plate and they don't stick. They also don't stick around for long - these are perfect to bring to any kind of gathering - they disappear!

Anonymous said...

I'm probably one of the very few people who does NOT like the pretzels-n-chocolate combo. :)

But! I have a VERY important question!!!!

How is Snowy's tail???

Stefanie in St. Louis

LeeAnne said...

Ohhh...these treats look yummy and like something I will be taking to the family Christmas party! My son with a sweet tooth will love these!!

Anonymous said...

Mmmm....made the pretzel candies for our football party today! They were a hit. I had mixed nuts so did some with cashews and almonds too. They were all good! Wish I could find the square pretzels...we only have walmart and they didn't have them :( Boni

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