Thursday, January 27, 2011

How A Pastor’s Dog Deals With Temptation

Hi. Snowy here.

So. I’m in the kitchen. Strolling back and forth. Forth and back. Bored to tears.

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And so I do what all bored kids do. I look look up and say, “Mom? I’m bored!”

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I then take a few steps into the hallway to see if anything exciting might be happening out there.

Nope. Still bored.

Mom?”

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Mom (bless her heart) decides that she shall leap fearlessly into The Fray of Boredom and do something quasi-exciting in order to enhance the momentousness of my existence. This consists of opening the front door just to see what I will do. (My mom is easily entertained. I love that about her.)

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Hmmm. Is this a trick?

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Um. Mom?

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Sniff. It sure smells good out there. I am catching all sorts of whiffs of all sorts of things and all of them are calling to me, “Snowy! Come outside! Come join us in this wonderful whiffing outdoor world!”

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A little closer to the door. A little closer to temptation.

Note: May I just add that as a veteran pastor’s dog in good standing, I feel compelled to inform you that this is not the highly recommended method for the efficient handling of temptation. As a rule, I believe that the widely accepted idea is to run really, really speedily in the opposite direction. (However, do not look at my mom near a tray of brownies as an illustration of that point. Just sayin’.)

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Sigh. I’m really sorry to have to report this to you, but temptation finally won out. I have passed beyond the point of no return.

I have crossed the line.

I am heading out into the Great Beyond, the Great Unknown, the Great Pee-ing Expanse of Land That Stretches to the Horizon. (Did I just say “pee” out loud?”)

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Ahh! Deep breath! Freedom! Fresh air! Sunshine on my shoulders! (Cue John Denver.)_DSC0017

My very own patented Alert Doggie Head lowers just a tad in order for me to better sense the sometimes scary scents wafting by. One can’t be too careful when one ventures out into the Outer Outside World. (Especially when one normally resides in the Inner Inside World.)

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I make doubly sure to keep a close eye on the little bird that is walking across the lawn a few feet away. I always say that one can never be too careful around birds because one never knows when they might turn into violent, rabid, awful monster-esque creatures. (Or something like that.)

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I dearly hope that my dear mother is taking note of the fact that I am just standing obediently on the porch instead of frantically running into the street or chasing those (violent, rabid) birds. At least I am proving myself able to resist a wee bit of temptation!

Oops. Saying “wee” just reminded me that I am outside and that I have to go, um, well, you know.

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(My mom has decided to spare you the picture since this is a family friendly site.)

This is Snowy. Signing off.

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P.S. Mom didn’t want to mention this for fear of embarrassing me but I will just go ahead and admit right here that I have gained about two pounds in the last month. I think that means that I’m eating good and feeling great.

And since the doctor told me in December that I was about to die? I think gaining two pounds instead is pretty okay with me.

7 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

Melanie said...

Hi, Snowy! I'm so glad to see you feeling better and that you've gained two pounds! Way to go! :)

CJ said...

Yay Snowy!! Happy to see your back to yourself - prove those doctors wrong :)

Anonymous said...

Snowy, you still have a very "buff" physique so keep on eating those nutritious meals and keep on being healthy! You are a very good doggie to stay on the porch and enjoy the outside. Remember when you ran away in the snow? Don't ever do that again - there is plenty to see and do right in your own yard - even, on your own front porch. Thanks for popping in and writing. Mary H

Anonymous said...

Snowy,

Tell your family to never let you watch the movie "The Birds" or you will never go outside. It's a pretend movie and birds are really nice. Milo, Lexy, Sophie, and I feed our birds. The cats have to stay inside though because they might try and eat those birds. They think they are so much fun to watch and make funny noises at them.

Very glad to hear you have been gaining weight, keep it up!

Postcard Cindy

Anonymous said...

Snowy
just so you know... there's someone in St.Louis keeping you company with a two pound weight gain... maybe more, but I'm not telling who or how much.
I imagine you can guess, even though you have a couple of Missouri fans, don't you?

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