Friday, January 14, 2011

Snowy. And The Chair. And The Tongue Test.

Hi. Snowy here.

It has occurred to me that some of you may think that since I help Mom a lot with her blog writing, I am not open to lending my capably impressive assistance to the other male guy in our house. And so today I have decided it would behoove me to present a couple pictures to you as irrefutable evidence to the contrary.

Shall we begin?

Here are Dad and me working together on the family budget. As a rule I do most of the thinking and he does most of the typing so we make a really good team. (You know, sometimes I really just wonder how this family ever got along without me back in the day.)

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It was pretty fun hanging out with Dad. He’s not quite as “cushy” as Mom is but hey, no one’s perfect! I just sat right there right beside him and whenever he needed any advice he’d just consult me because, as we all know, I am an informational whiz from way back. (Since I’m on Mom’s Blog Payroll, and everything.)

And just in case you don’t know this little Thinking Secret? I’ve found that it helps to tilt one’s head back and raise the nose just slightly when doing serious thinking. It tends to allow the massive stores of knowledge and wisdom that are resident in one’s brain to have more freedom of movement as they roll around the cranial cavity.

You can thank me later.

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So. All was well. And good. Not to mention great.

But then? What’s this? Where did he go? The Big Guy disappeared! He left me!

As I stared forlornly after his departing figure I wondered, “Doesn’t he understand that the very essence of my canine being is encapsulated in the moments of time when I can offer my able mental assistance and stellar, exemplary advice to all members of the human race who are in need of said input and insights?”

(Um. Does anyone know what I just said?)

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Sigh. Well, if there’s anything I’ve learned in my eleven years of life it’s that when life hands you lemons you, um, sit in a chair and stare out the window. _DSC0014

And after you have stared out the window for a sufficient amount of time, you should then stare downward just a little so as to appear pensive and intellectual in order to impress Mom with said pensiveness. (And may I just say? It doesn’t take a whole lot to impress Mom so a little staring straight ahead goes a long way.)

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But then? After a while? I started to get a little lonesome. Not to mention bored. Not to mention completely overwhelmed by the buzz of ideas that were whizzing around in my (small) brain, ideas which desperately needed a Human Type Person to impart them to.

Before I knew it, dismal distress and distressing dismay had descended upon my tiny heart.

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What’s a guy to do, I ask you? What’s ahead for me? Where is my life headed? Am I being downsized? Outsourced? Am I no longer needed by The Smith Humans? Are my writing/consulting days over?

These are hard questions to face in the sunset years of one’s life.

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But then?

I finally got sick (not to mention tired) of being all morose and melancholy and I quite sternly issued myself the following orders, “Get a grip! Life isn’t over! Your humans still need you! Think positive! Buck up! Take deep cleansing breaths! And above all else? SING! Sing your cares away!”

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And when you’re done with verse one, then by George, move onto verse two! Sing until you can sing no longer! Let your soul soar on the wings of song! Raise your voice to the sky!

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Whew! Wow! That whole singing thing turned out to be a lot of fun. And it also helped to dispel that dratted dismal dismay down in my heart. However. I still had the challenge of entertaining myself since no Human Type Person appeared to be returning to the Snowy Chair.

Let’s see. Hmmmm. What to do, what to do. . .

Oh, I know! I’ve got it! I should do a little little experiment to find out just how long my tongue really is! This is something I’ve been wondering about since I was just a wee lad, er, pup and it appears to be the perfect time to do engage in a bit of empirical scientific research.

So . . . let’s see.

Whoa! Pretty long, huh?

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WHOA!! Really, really long!

You know what? This is truly impressive! I think someone should contact the White House so that I can be hereby lauded as the Canine Tongue King! I ROCK!

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Did I just say that out loud?

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Sigh. I’m so bored.

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You know, I seem to recall that some wiser Dog than I once said, “If Human Type Persons do not come and sit with you after 12.5 minutes of waiting, then you should go find something fabulous and fulfilling to do elsewhere.” (Or something like that.)

So. I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. However, first I need to give myself a little shake to get my fur arranged back into its usual attractive style. All that thinking, singing and tongue analyzing can certainly wreak havoc with one’s appearance.

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And then?

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Then I’m outa here!

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This is Snowy. Signing off.

5 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

Ericka said...

Becky, this is off topic for this post, but have you read "The Emperor of All Maladies"? It was one of the New York Times' best 10 books of 2010. It's a beautifully, stunningly written narrative of the history of cancer and cancer treatments. It's really, truly fascinating and really "readable," almost like a novel. I highly recommend it - even to people with no personal experience with cancer.

Anonymous said...

I love it When Snowy Writes! :-)

I also appreciated the photos and cleaning tips in your previous post.

Yep, I'm pretty much just an incurable fan of all things Smith!

Love deb

Karen in Hammond said...

Off topic too... I saw something on a website today and it made me think of you! It said: "Dear Math, I don't want to solve your problems. I have enough of my own."

It made me laugh!

Linda R. said...

Hi Becky, hope all is well in Smithland!

Love, hugs and ladybugs,
Linda

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