The Expanded Middle Merriment

Your guesses about the above picture were certainly fascinating and entertaining; I just knew I could count on you guys to come up with some good ol' doozies. Here are the three main categories that the guesses fell into:

1. Nathan is engaged and the guys are getting their outfits together. (I must say that I gasped out loud when I saw that guess! I guess I could dub it a "gasping guess.")

2. Steve is getting his outfit ready to candidate at the church at the beach. (And you said it would be a great outfit as long as he stood behind the pulpit at all times.)

3. Steve is trying on Nathan's suit jacket and it's too small because he has gained weight. (Steve? Gain weight? You know not!)

All guesses were good guesses. And number three even came sort of, kind of close to the truth.

But now to lay all the guesses to rest, here is the rest of the story.

As I've mentioned to you before, Steve has gained some weight in the last year which he's actually been quite happy about. For his entire adult life he has been unable to put on any extra pounds, even when he's really, really tried. (I know. I didn't have much sympathy for him either.)

When he got into his early fifties however, his metabolism finally started to slow down. AND he started eating a large bowl of ice cream every night. AND a large, accompanying bowl of popcorn.

And you'll never guess what. He joined the rest of us! Things changed! Pounds arrived! (Which, by the way, he gets complimented about all the time.)

I can't say that I have ever been complimented on the arrival of protruding pounds on my person but hey, I'm not bitter. Much.

Well, a couple weeks ago, Steve started looking through some of the dress clothes that he hasn't worn in nine months. He wasn't too terribly surprised to discover that a lot of the stuff didn't fit any more. (Like the suit coat in the above picture.)

So what's a guy to do?

The first thing the guy did was to commence to call in the College Dude so that Nathan could be present for the "expanded middle merriment." Or maybe so that he could bring his own merriment with him. Nathan is all about merriment. (Although he has yet to experience the variety of merriment known as the "expanded middle merriment." Poor child; he is so deprived.)




The second thing on Steve's agenda was to start putting the "too small clothes" on his "just the right sized son." (I do realize that the tie still fits Steve, but he's a generous guy and was trying to create complete outfits for his merry-minded, non-expanded middled eldest son).


















The bottom line here? (Or maybe I should say, "The expanded middle line . . .)

The bottom, expanded middle line is that Nathan has for a long while been wanting to "upscale" his dressy appearance. He's worn the same three shirts and one pair of Dockers to church for about fifteen years now and since he says that "spending money hurts his heart," he never had the gumption (or the finances) to go out and buy anything different. In fact, he's currently so "poor" at school that he's selling plasma to earn extra income. Doesn't that sound just like a college student?

While Steve was able to salvage several pair of dress pants and a few sport coats (by getting them altered) he ended up giving Nathan a whole bunch of dress clothes that fit him like a dream.

Good for Nathan. Bad for Steve.

Poor Steve stood forlornly in the middle of his closet and witnessed his entire dress wardrobe shriveling to next to nothing. And may I just say that shriveling wardrobes are not a real good thing for someone who's headed back into full time pastoring. Fortunately for him, however, a local men's store was going out of business so he hightailed it over there and found several great suits and sport coats for 70% off. (Woo-hoo for sales!)

So what has happened as a result of all this upsizing and downsizing is that Nathan has taken off for college with a church/business wardrobe that is far beyond what most 19-year old College Dudes own. And to make his wardrobe life even happier, one of our wonderful Smithellaneous readers has a son about Nathan's size who just cleaned out his closet and gotten rid of a lot of casual clothes. And guess what? This reader is sending the clothes to Nathan! Isn't that such a cool thing to do?

And so here is today's story in a nutshell. (And yes, there will be test.)

52-year old pastor gains a few pounds. (Which actually make him even more dashing than ever.)

52-year old pastor's dress clothes no longer fit him.

52-year old pastor has a 19-year old son who is the exact size that the 52-year old pastor was before gaining the aforementioned pounds.

The aforementioned 19-year old son tries on the aforementioned clothes of the aforementioned 52-year old pastor and discovers a whole new wardrobe.

The 47-year old wife of the 52-year old pastor and mother to the 19-year old College Dude sits happily in the corner and watches the 52-year old pastor and the 19-year old son try on clothes and laugh and enjoy each other's company and the 47-year old pastor's wife and college mom feels great happiness for weight gained (on other people), for blessings passed along, and for the happy sound of a pastor dad laughing with his merry son.

The end.

Oh wait. Not really the end. I have one more picture. Even with the coat stuck over the t-shirt, isn't he a really cute College Dude? Yes, I thought so, too.

Lotsa Lotsa Stuff

First of all, let me say hello and welcome to Traci, who is the One Hundredth Smithellaneous Follower. I had noticed a couple days ago that the number was at ninety-nine and I thought it would be fun to see who was going to be one hundred. And then Traci very thoughtfully noticed it for me. Thanks, Traci; it's great to have a "self service noticer" out there!

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Someone commented on a post that I had written a while ago and then added to their comment, "I don't know if you'll see this or not."

Just so you know, the way the comments work is that even if you comment on something from several weeks ago, I will always get an email notification about your comment. So new comments, old comments--they're all good! I do see and read and appreciate and love every single one of them!

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Many of you have had helpful advice on trying to get our house sold. Steve and I are taking your comments seriously and will be in contact with our realtor to see what steps we can take towards moving the sale of the house along.

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It's been fun to see some new questions pop up in the discussion area. I've had two fellow bloggers start discussions that I featured here on the "home page" and I'd love to have at least three more bloggers join in to give the discussion area jump start. Click here for more details.

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And now, on to the subject of Manteo.

First of all, let me address the most important issue of all which is: Yes! Andy Griffith and his wife DO live in Manteo. But since they own a huge estate and have a wee bit more money than we do, I doubt we'll become their next door neighbors or anything! (smile)

Several of you asked the logical question summed up succinctly by a Smithellaneous friend from Canada, "Is the congregation voting for you simply a formality, or is there still a chance this will not work out?"

Here's the deal:

The search committee of the church is made up of the six church board members in addition to two extra people brought "on board" just for the specific job of finding a new pastor. (Their last pastor was there twenty-one years so they don't have to do this real often.)

The eight people on the committee study resumes, contact references, listen to sermon Cd's, and finally decide which of the applicants to invite for an interview.

After the interview, they meet again and discuss whether they want to bring in that interviewee to preach and be voted on. In our case, the eight of them unanimously voted yes. If they had instead voted no, they would have moved down the list to the next candidate and called him in for an interview, starting the process all over again.

To put it simply, we were (thankfully) their first choice.

Some of the people on this committee have been in the church over twenty years and they have an excellent idea of what kind of pastor the church needs and also, what kind of pastor would be a good fit for the congregation. In other words, the search committee is not going to comb through all the resumes and choose someone whom they think the congregation will heartily dislike! :-)

One thing that is especially helpful is that Steve and I bring musical gifts with us, in addition to Steve's pastoral gifts. The church's wonderful pianist of many years recently passed away and they don't have anyone to replace her on a permanent basis; the fact that Steve and I are musical is a very good thing.

I do realize that that was a very long answer to a very short question. As the years go by, I'm obviously becoming more and more like my husband; I always tease him that if someone asks him for the time, he gives them the history of the watch! (smile)

But I guess I took so long to answer the question because there really isn't a simple response. Yes, the congregation does have the final say, but the point is that the committee would not select someone to come in unless they felt quite sure that they would be someone the congregation would like.

We understand that there is always the chance that the majority of the congregation would vote no, but at this point in the process, that seems pretty unlikely.

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The question was also asked if a parsonage would be provided, or if we would have to buy a house.

In years (and decades) gone by, most pastors lived in parsonages as a matter of course; however, that tradition has undergone some changes. The obvious advantage of a parsonage is that the pastor doesn't have to make a house payment. The obvious disadvantage is that when the pastor's family moves to another town, they have no equity. When a pastor gets to be in his fifties and sixties and has no equity built up, that is not a good thing.

So yes, we will be looking for a house to buy which will be a challenge, because houses in Manteo are twice as expensive as they are in Smithfield, mainly due to the cost of land. So we have the double whammy of not being able to sell our current house PLUS facing very pricey homes on the coast. PLUS we're just coming out of nine months of unemployment.

Oh wait. That's a triple whammy.

Hmmm. Sounds like a job for God!

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Someone else asked if we would enroll Sarah in school once the move was made. As far as I can tell right now, probably not. Sarah has some learning issues that may be best addressed by one-on-one attention and plenty of time to go over and over something until she really understands it. However, we'll see how the year progresses and stay open to whatever is best for her.

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Now! Just so that you don't think that in all the excitement of what's been going on, I've forgotten about my favorite son, here is a hint-dropping photo of what my next update will be about.

I'll let you ponder the picture for a while and see if you can figure out what the story line might be. In fact, if you have any guesses, I'd love to hear them! I'm sure you funny folks out there will come up with something quite . . . um . . . interesting.

See ya soon!

A Transition Announcement (Ta-Da!)

I would have written about this earlier today but I laid down for a wee little nap and ended up taking a nap of marathonical proportions. Hmmmm . . . . maybe I ditched the pajamas prematurely in my attempts to relocate my misplaced vim and vigor!

Well, enough about that. This afternoon I have some good news to pass along.

I mentioned a few days ago that there were two churches interested in us--one toward the central part of North Carolina and one in Manteo, on the coast.

Before leaving for Wisconsin, Steve and I spent three hours with the Board and Pastoral Search Committee in Manteo; when we left that evening they said, "You'll be hearing from us."

Well, hear from them we did! The eight-member team met again after that session with us and voted unanimously to invite us to come back to Manteo the last Sunday in September! (Hooray!)

We'll spend the whole weekend there, meet the congregation in several different settings, preach, sing, and (drum roll, please) be voted on!

The members of the search committee told us how excited they are and how excited the congregation is. We would have all loved to have had the Voting Sunday earlier in September but this Sunday is a holiday and the following two Sundays, the leader of the search committee will be out of the country. And so the last Sunday of September it is.

Steve called the other church that is interested to let them know that we have received the official invitation to candidate in Manteo. The leader of that search committee told Steve how impressed they had been with Steve's preaching CD's and was disappointed that we were moving in another direction. I must say, it's nice to be wanted.

I'll be writing more about this as the days go by, but since so many of you have prayed with us and waited with us, I wanted to let you know the news as soon as possible.

Now we really and truly need to get this house sold. Quickly! And for a great price! I know God is in charge of that whole process, too, and He's not at all worried over it. So I guess if HE'S not worried, I should just take it off MY worry list, as well. (Easier said than done.)

Thanks for your prayers and support during these long nine months. Our family appreciates each one of you so much and we're excited about the future God has for us!

I'd celebrate with some chocolate but I'm trying to cut back. Maybe a few pieces of canteloupe would suffice.

Yeah, right.

Meet Our Second Blogger Discussion Starter Person

Beverly at Ramblings and Ruminations of a VHL Mom posted a good question about teen drivers and car insurance.

Hoo-boy. That topic sure hits close to home. What do you think?

Meet Our First Blogger Discussion Starter Person!

Cheryl at Real Mommy Now posted a question here about getting her baby to sleep through the night.

For all you moms out there who have been there, done that, what is your advice to Cheryl?

Thanks, Cheryl, for being our First Blogger Discussion Starter Person!

An Incentive For Becky's Blogging Buddies

A few months ago, I added a discussion thingie to the sidebar that would enable everyone in our Smithellaneous family to discuss a whole lot of stuff a whole lot more easily. I also polled you and you voted to name the discussion thingie, The Backyard Fence.

If you'll scroll down a little ways, you'll see the discussion widget in the right column. (Something went kapooy in the technical area and "The Backyard Fence" name disappeared. I'm waiting on the hosting company to tell me how to fix the aforementioned kapooyness.)

However, regardless of what it's currently named, the discussion area remains a really great place for all of us at Smithellaneous to ask for prayer, share stories, find new recipes, get advice, give advice and get to know each other better.

In case you're wondering how the Discussion Area differs from the the Comments Area, here is a 3-point lesson. (Being married to a preacher causes me to organize a LOT of my life into 3-points!)

1. The Comment Area (following each blog) is great for those times you want to say something about the particular blog post.

2. The Discussion Area is good for any general dialogue that doesn't necessarily tie into a current post.

3. The other advantage of the discussion area is that it is very easy to go back and find a certain topic from earlier days/weeks. You don't have to scroll through dozens of posts, the way you would if a discussion topic was posted in the Comments Area.

Instead, you just scroll down a short ways and click on "Visit My Community." Or else if you're feeling the creeping onset of a bit of Monday morning laziness, you can always just click right here. (Click on the "Forum" tab and then "Add a discussion" and you'll be good to go!)


See? Easy as 1, 2, 3! (I do love me some rhymes.)

And what sorts of things does a person post on a community discussion board? Here are a few ideas:

Self esteem discussions
Grocery budget tips
Baby's sleeping schedule (or the lack thereof)
Recipes
Blogging info/questions/problems
Retirement challenges and joys
Favorite quotations
Losing a job
Advice about a cross country move
Child rearing
PC's vs. Macs
Book recommendations
Age appropriate video games
Travel tips
Whether or not you think chocolate is addictive (smile)

Just to get things going again, I've initiated a new discussion that you can access right here.

Traveling/Packing Tips

Just click in and start talkin'!

And in order to give my best blogging buddies the best blogging buddy incentive I can, here's a little deal for you.

For the first first five bloggers who start a discussion, I will post a link to your blog and mention your discussion question in a blog post reserved especially for you. And then you will start getting at least ten thousand hit day just like I do !

And everyone said, "Ha." (Not to mention, "Ha, ha, ha.")

Of course, if you don't have a blog, I'd be truly and terrifically happy to have you start (or participate in) the discussions, as well.

Enjoy!

And Their Absence Thereof

At 6:30 am, Steve's hospital pager went off. When he called in, they said someone had just died and the family members were asking for a chaplain. (As a rule, if a family doesn't have a pastor of their own, a chaplain is called.)

Steve was out the door in a jiffy and since he's been gone, I've been sitting here thinking of that family, caught up in death's aftermath.

Birth and death are such universal experiences and both of them so drastically change the lives of those around them. One of the privileges of being a pastor (and a pastor's wife) is that we are invited into those most sacred, painful, intimate parts of a person's life. It's a trust we never take lightly.

And speaking of being a pastor, I would like to thank everyone from our previous church, First Assembly in Smithfield, who sent cards, prayers and compassion after my dad's death. You'll never know how much your love and concern meant.

In yesterday's post, I finished out my series on Dad's funeral and my trip to Wisconsin; this week I'll get going again on regular ol' Smith life. I also have an announcement I'll be making soon concerning Life Transition news.

There's lots of good stuff going on, including the fact that I am planning on getting out of my pajamas today and attempting to face the real world. Hurray for me! Hurray for the real world! Hurray for pajamas!

And their absence, thereof.

A Hello To Heaven

It's been a week already since Dad was buried. Hard to believe. Hard to grasp. Hard to get used to.

A few days ago I was driving to the grocery store when the reality of his loss hit me anew and I suddenly just blurted aloud, "Dad is dead."

Almost instantly I felt my throat tighten and the tears well up.

After just a moment or two had passed I changed tactics a little and said instead, "Dad is in heaven!"

For him--what a lovely change of place. For me--what a lovely change of pace.

Sorrow to gladness in 4.5 seconds. How grateful I am for the hope of heaven.


We committed Dad to the hope and the hands of heaven last Saturday in the serene and lovely Shamrock Church and Cemetery.


For me at least, the small family ceremony we had there in the midst of that halcyon piece of heaven was the most meaningful, poignant part of the day.

First, as I've mentioned before, there was the graveside service. . .






And then we walked up the hill to the church so that we could spend a little extra time together. (My brother Phil is to the left of Mom; my brother Mark and his wife, Nancy, are behind them.)








On the way in the door, Mom gave the old bell a good pull which was a really nice way to send a hello to heaven.



The service in that diminutive sanctuary was not formal or excruciatingly well organized; we just meandered happily back and forth between the sharing of memories and the sharing of old hymns.



This is my oldest brother, Tim. His wife, Berit, and son, Andrew, are beside him.


Sarah said that her grandpa's nickname for her was "Bumpee" and that she remembered him coming to the hospital during her cancer treatment to cheer her up.



In between the memories shared, different people would yell out favorite hymns and away we would go on a song. Fortunately, I got cut my teeth on church hymns so I was quite happy to do the "piano honors."



One of the highlights of our informal gathering was when Randy invited the ladies forward to sing. Guess who played the piano for THAT musical number? Not me, that's who!


It was such an inspiration to witness a woman who had just buried her husband still be able to find the emotional strength to sit down at a piano and play, "What A Friend We Have in Jesus."

Although her husband and earthly friend was gone, her best Friend was very present in that room while we sang.



At the end of that lovely hour, we got ourselves organized for a family photo. I've always been the type of person who loves taking pictures before and after the "real photo" and so that's what I did.







Eventually, everyone got lined up and we photographed a memory.


Following the sharing of the pictures, the memories, and the music, all of us joined hands and said The Lord's Prayer together. To my mind, there are few sounds on earth any sweeter than family voices wending their way through the dusty sacredness of a tranquil, country church.

After the final "Amen," was said, some of the family members stayed around to chat.

This is my sister, Ruth, her husband, Arnold (on the left) and our cousin, Jonathan.


As a few of us walked back out to the cemetery, I happened to notice that my nepehws had developed their very own wonderful and wacky way of walking.


My siblings and I have grandparents, great grandparents and great great grandparents who are buried in that cemetery; after a bit of searching, we found some graves with familiar names.

This is the grave of my dad's parents. The last name isn't "Campbell" because Dad's birth dad died when my dad was just a couple days old. His mom later remarried.



Even though the afternoon at that church was so very special, the most meaningful part of the day for me was thinking back to when when I was a young girl and remembering how our family would occasionally drive half an hour or so from our home to the church. (The church was always unlocked back then. It is also also quaint enough that it still has "working" outhouses!) We would go and sit in the sanctuary during the week, just to enjoy its serenity and its beauty.

I remember so well how I would take my little girl self up to that platform (with mom playing the piano) and belt out songs to the empty pews, picturing in my heart the day when I would stand on church platforms and sing for real.

It's hard for me to even express how special it was for me to go back there for the first time in almost forty years and sing in that very same spot, surrounded by the members of my family and accompanied once again on the piano by a lovely, godly, musical mother. (The only difference is that Dad wasn't listening to me sing and cheering me on, which he did for me my entire life.)

During those magical moments last Saturday I kept saying to myself, "Don't rush through this. Don't think about tomorrow or next week. Don't worry about selling the house or finding a new church. Moments like these don't come very often and they're gone almost before they begin.

I reminded myself to honor the memories that brought me there, to honor the memories that were being made, and to honor the man in whose memory my family and I had gathered.

And most of all, I hoped that the memories, the music, and the prayers we had offered that day would all coalesce into a holy hello--a hello to both of my fathers who are in heaven.

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VIDEO NOTE

I wasn't able to type this info in the video entry below so I'll introduce the video here instead.

In the post below, you'll find a video of us ladies singing, "What a Friend We Have In Jesus," the song that I wrote about in the post above.

Halfway through the video, you will also see my "unofficially adopted brother" Ron looking like he is catching a fly by hand. (Ron has many ways of making our family smile!)

I would also like to add (concerning the video) that it looks like Phil is lending assistance to my Mom because she can't walk easily by herself. The truth of the matter is that Mom takes many walks a week on her own and the fact that Phil is being so solicitous is just a wonderful picture of how thoughtful and caring my big (tough) brother actually is. (Love ya, Phil!)