Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Non Buff Stuff

This week, we had an impromptu push up contest in the living room with Nathan and Steve, of course, being the Smith Household Push Up Champions. Sarah and I were more than willing to take a back seat in this particular contest and bravely donned our title of, "Wimpy Push Up Gals."

On the subject of push ups, I have gone to the gym for over a year on a fairly regular basis. I have diligently worked out on weight machines that are touted to be terrific arm toners. And strengtheners.


And here's what I'm "ha-ing" about.

During the Smith Family Push Up Contest, Sarah and I decided we would have our own little competition. I was the first one to "compete" and carefully lowered my impressive 47-year old body to the floor (accompanied by dramatic grunts and groans) and prepared to stun my family with my buffed up, beefed up, gym-produced mass of musculature.

Ha. Again.

I still could not do even ONE girl push up. Not even one!

Sarah, on the other hand, got down on the floor and managed to pull off an entire "girl push up." She beat me! Hurray for her!

Not so hurray for me.

Of course, Nathan then had to show off HIS wonderfulness by demonstrating how a real manly man push up is done.

Here he is after his fab display.

After that bit of business was over, Nathan decided that it was time to be even more impressive. He asked Sarah to sit on his back while doing a push up! (You will please note at this point in the narrative that I did NOT ask Sarah to sit on MY back while failing to do my one girl push up. Which I think was pretty wise, actually.)

Sarah is circling around Nathan, trying to figure out the best way to sit down.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have liftoff!

Ladies and gentleman, we have collapse!

I must mention that he DID get in one push up before the collapse. (And before the collective sibling giggles that precipitated the collapse.)

All I can say about this whole (or)deal is that push ups are highly over rated. (Now if I were able to do a hundred of them they would, of course, be highly under rated.) Even though Sarah and I are non-starters at being strong and buff, we are pretty good at a whole lot of other stuff, mostly all sorts of NON buff stuff.

We're just "Non Buff Stuff-er" kinds of gals.

Anyone else in the same boat? Want to start a Non-Buff Stuff Club? We could begin each meeting with eating Golden Graham Bars. We could close each meeting with taking sledgehammers to weight machines.

Oh wait. All that sledgehammer slinging might inadvertently make us buff.

Never mind.

4 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

MaryH said...

I have always been very "Non-Buff," never could do pull ups or push ups or anything that required arm strength. So, could I apply for membership to the Non-Buff Puff Club? Where do we meet - I want to try some of these Golden Graham bars (or whatever they are called).

Also, on Sarah Smith's Spot yesterday, you posted a picture of laid back, on summer break, college dude and wished us all one of those moments. Well, last evening while I was walking my dog, I noticed such a light airy feeling in the neighborhood. The kids were in the corner neighborhood park swinging higher, laughing louder, spinning the merry go round faster - and it hit me, yesterday was their last day of school for the year. I thought of your post, I remembered that wonderful, free, happy, delighted feeling of the last day of school, the joy it brought to think of what seemed like endless, lazy, relaxing, fun, sunny, swimming, visiting cousins at the farm and chasing lightening bug days that stretched before me. How good it felt to remember that - wish I could have that back and just wallow in that simple childhood freedom - wasn't that just the best feeling, that last day of school and that first evening of summer!

Sue G said...

Ummm, you lost me at the part where I would have to get down on the floor. Maybe me and a crane, perhaps, but certainly not me alone.

Up until this year I was pretty buff, in an obese, overly fat kind of way. I could press 240 pounds with my legs, 100 pounds with my triceps, and about 160 pounds with my arms. I also boxed for an hour straight without taking more than one minute rests.

Then along came chemo. Great stuff for saving a life. Not so great for saving a muscle.

But, oh so happy I get a choice. :-)

Random said...

I'm keen on the Golden Grahams part of the club... does that indicate how buff I'm not?
I did, however, watch a young man last year as he did a one-handed push-up with my friend standing on his back. Which I would not advise, since I am sure it's bad for the arms and back, and could very well be bad for the person standing on the pusher-upper as well...

Vickie said...

When Davis came home for Christmas he was eager to get me into pushups and encouraged me to start. I followed the program at this website and pretty quickly got up to arround 30, then Erin's needs derailed me. If you would like to visit this website, I'm sure you could easily learn how to do as many push ups as you wanted.