Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Snowy Goes To College (Part 3)

Thursday’s class starts out quite well. Snowy is lying on his official mat, just emanating wondrous waves of his fervent longing to learn and obey. (Yeah, right.)
And just so you know? He’s also lying there so quietly because he is busy gazing at the loveliness of Maggie, the girl next door. You see, Maggie’s master owns a local restaurant. And Snowy has hatched a plot to woo Maggie and then marry Maggie so that he will be in the enviable position of inheriting a restaurant. That serves steak. And chicken. And seafood. And stuff.
So. We’ll see how that works for him.

Snowy, however, is not so girl crazy that he is unable to concentrate on the important task at hand. When the teacher starts talking, he immediately puts away all his plans for Maggie-wooing and focuses his considerable and powerful intellect on what his instructor is saying.

Because Snowy is all about learning. He is all about soaking up knowledge.

As usual, Snowy is accompanied to class by his own personal sister, the fabulous Princess Groovy Chick. Unfortunately, it seems as though PGC has developed a slightly annoying habit of guffawing heartily every time Snowy does something goofy or wrong at college. (Which averages about once every twelve seconds.) Snowy would like Sarah to know that it’s just a bit hard on his teeny doggie self esteem when his very own mistress laughs so hard at his expense; however, he is a tough dog and he can handle it. He can handle anything. He. Is. Macho. Doggie.

Um. Wait a moment. Let’s rethink that last statement for a moment. You know, that statement about being so tough? Because as the class proceeds, Snowy finds himself in a rather sobering position. A mere three feet away from his small, fluffy person lies a large pit bull who is staring right at him. Maybe now would be a good time to breathe just a quick word of prayer. (Being a pastor’s dog does have some benefits now and then.)

Whew! It looks like that prayer came none too soon. It appears as though the Moment of Truth has arrived. The Canine College Classroom Showdown.

What will happen next? Who will come out of the showdown standing tall? Who will leave with his tail between his legs? The suspense builds. Snowy prays harder.

And then feeling that the time for prayer has gone and the time for action has arrived, Snowy asks his sister, “Um, Sis, can we, um, please just go home right now? I’m feeling a bit outgunned here.”

The mean ol’ sister of Snowy not only doesn’t take him home, she actually has the gall, the temerity, the nerve to take him even closer to The Big Dude. The Big Black Tough Strong Intimidating (did I mention big?) Dude. Snowy feels a flutter of fear in his fear-fluttering area. Will he get out of this college class alive? Only time will tell.

He appeals again . . .

. . and again to his sister for mercy. For clemency. For a free ticket out of that awful place. Sister stands firm. The Big Dude continues to watch.

Finally, when the suspense has risen to unbearable levels, the college teacher takes over for a while. Snowy immediately displays his stunning grasp on his ability to disobey each command to the letter. He is very gifted in the area of disobedience.

At long last, Snowy is handed back to Sarah. He immediately feels much more secure when he realizes that his intrepid mistress is standing between him and The Big Dude.

He gazes at her adoringly. He sends loving, grateful doggie thoughts in her direction.

And then. It happens.
Snowy realizes that it is not enough just to express his gratitude in thoughts alone. He decides in his bitty little brain that surviving another college class and staring down a Big Dude calls for more than just thankful thoughts.
It calls for action
It calls for dance!
Snowy decides that now would be a good time to show off a few of his groovy steps to his college cronies. (Especially the female who is part of the fine and upstanding restaurant-owning family.)


And so Snowy shakes a leg. He cuts a rug. He boogies down.

Snowy ends his dazzling dance display with his favorite step. He calls it the “Kick the left leg out and shake your rear” step. How could Maggie resist? How could the Big Dude not be impressed? Snowy rises to the top of his class with this amazing display of canine classiness and poochie panache.


Snowy decides he likes college after all. College is fun! College is educational!
Snowy might always be the small man on campus, but his charm, obedience skills and dance moves will ensure that he will never lack for friends.
In fact, Snowy just can’t help but smile up at his sister and say, “Isn’t this fun?”
The End.


From the Comments Section . . .
And here are a few questions from several weeks ago that I forgot all about. Sorry about that! The 47-year old brain is kickin’ in again!

Q. Did Nathan have the opportunity to travel by camel when he was in Israel?

A. Guerrina, I wouldn’t say he exactly traveled by camel any great distance, but he did get to ride a camel for a little ways. He thought it was pretty fun!

Q. Sometimes when I read your stuff or my stuff I think to myself that someone should come quick(ly) and hide our keyboards. I mean, we have way too much fun! I know I crack myself up all the time. Do you find yourself as funny as I do? Come on, you do find yourself amusing. Right? --Sue G.

A. Sue, I definitely find YOU to be amusing! And I sort of find myself to be amusing but I’m not always sure if everyone else who reads my amusing-ness "gets it.” I guess, if nothing else, at least I entertain myself!_

7 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

MaryH said...

Oh, my goodness! I love the Snowy going to college reports. He is so funny and, goes without saying but I will anyway, just as cute as can be. I wish we could see a video of the dancing! What a bright spot on a snowy (no pun intended) very cold day here in St. Louis!

Also, Sue G. and Becky, you both amuse me with your writings and thoughts.

lesley said...

I am a multitasker. I think my many years of working as a nurse has developed that skill to its finest! There is no other way to survive in that profession.
At home I watch TV and am online at the same time. I have always had a calendar on the kitchen wall. My boys always knew that if "it wasn't written on the calendar it wasn't happening". EVERTHING went on there. It was the only way for a single mom to get it all done, get the boys to every practice, game, event, friend's house etc and still cater to my daughter's special needs, surgeries, doctor appts, and therapies while working part time.
It worked out great. We only had one car while the boys were going through highschool so it really helped to be organized as they started driving and wanting to take the car.
I remember I wrote my first 'to do list' at the age of 14 and I remarked to my mother that every time I crossed something off- another thing would need to be put on. She told me it would be that way for the rest of my life:) She was so right.
So a calendar and lists. That's my big secret. Probably much like anyone else.

Nancybratt said...

Yayyy, go Snowy. Dance away!! Good boy

A Mom's Serious Blunder said...

I just wanted to let you know we took Tucker to his first dog obedience class! Not to brag but he was a star pupil but he is just a puppy and that string cheese was very motivating. I will keep you posted on his progress. So far he was able to walk on a loose leash and not pull and sit on command with just a hand signal. He absolutely refuses to lay down and I think I am going to skip that. The instructor says that it is hard for little dogs because they feel vulnerable and they don't want to get stepped on.

A Mom's Serious Blunder said...

and you were the inspiration for taking Taking Tucker to class... Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Excellent time-management advice, Becky. Thank you so much.

What is your system for managing your e-mail and facebook accounts, and keeping up with multiple blogs?

How does one as productive in a week as you structure their Internet time?

--Lori (Christoffersen) Johnson of Washington state (formerly of Wisconsin)

deb said...

That was doggone funny! You're a nut!

love deb