Smithellaneous: Snowy The Decorator

Have you ever tried to pick a carpet color when there are endless acres of carpet colors to choose from?

Have you ever tried to decide on just one paint color when you can’t even manage to narrow your choices down to fifty?

Well, that’s where we’ve been lately. Thinking about choices. Too many choices. And the more choices we’ve looked at, the more overwhelmed we’ve become.

Don’t the two of them look overwhelmed?

And so, being the wise (not to mention smart) family that we are, we did the only possible thing we could do under the circumstances. We called in a professional. A carpet and paint professional who was already on site. A professional named Snowy.

Well, actually, if the truth be known, Snowy sort of called himself in. He just got rather tired of sitting on his sister's lap and watching his own personal humans run around in a dither of doubt, dismay and indecision. So he got right up, strolled on over and humbly inquired, “May I possibly be of service?”

And just so that we would be convinced that he truly was a highly trained professional, he proffered his card. Who could argue with such a polished presentation?

Since we never turn down good help, Steve was quick to ask his opinion.

“Snowy, which paint color looks the best?”

Snowy was about to answer when he noticed that there were paparazzi lurking in the room, trying to get a glimpse of the rare phenomenon known as the Decorating Dog. Before proffering his considered opinion to the man of the house, he glared at the camera with his best “You are bothering the important person" look.

And then with that small detail taken care of, he got down to work. Because you see, Snowy knows something about decorating that we human beings don’t understand. He knows that you don’t just make selections based on what you see—you make selections based on what you smell. (This one technique alone has the power to totally transform the decorating world.)

When Snowy had sniffed sufficiently, he then went on to the next step of his decorating technique which he humbly calls, “The Official Turning in a Circle Around the Color Wheel Maneuver.”

And why does he do this strange thing? Well, here’s the deal.

His movements reflect the shape of the color wheel and when he turns himself clockwise and then counterclockwise around the wheel, the essence of the colors make their way into the atmosphere and then into his (very small) brain and he is then able to discern from the path of the colors and the aura of the pigmentation encapsulated in the color wheel which of the correct colors are to be chosen. (Or at least that’s how he explained it to me.)

After the Circling Ceremony had ended, Snowy decided that he was working way too hard and was coming perilously close to the end of his Doggie Decorating Endurance. And so it seemed that a good, hearty yawn was in order. (Obviously, his mother never taught him to cover his mouth while yawning.)

And then suddenly, in the placid post-yawning moments that followed, something very important occurred to Snowy. Since he is a pastor’s dog, he has heard many times about asking God for wisdom when one doesn’t know which way to turn. And Snowy thought that maybe the time had come to ask for a little extra wisdom. So he did.