About a week before we were to leave for Nathan’s wedding, Libby, a lady in our church asked, “So, are you all set for the wedding?” I said, “Well, I still need to find some jewelry for the dress I chose; I’ll probably look around for some tomorrow.”
She casually inquired, “What color is your dress?”
When I told her it was lavender her face lit up and she said, “Well, I might have something you can borrow. Why don’t you bring your dress by the house later today.”
When I arrived, I was flabbergasted at the absolutely perfect match her jewelry turned out to be. And beyond being flabbergasted, I was thrilled down to my toes that I was getting to wear a pendant and earrings that had been owned by her mother and were over a hundred years old! (I don’t think I’ve ever been younger than my jewelry before.)
Are those gorgeous pieces, or what?
Then Libby inquired, “Do you have a purse to carry?”
Well, I had a small, 10-year old bag that didn’t match my dress very well, but I didn’t feel like spending extra money on a purse. So I answered, “Um, sort of, but, well, not really.”
She said, “I may have something that will work for you.”
When she pulled this out of her closet, I swooned! It was exactly the kind of bag I would never spend money on but the kind of bag I would love to carry.
And when I put all the pieces together, I swooned some more; in fact, I was a veritable Swooning Smith.
So by that point, the only thing I was lacking was a dressy watch. The one watch I own is fairly utilitarian and it would not have been at all comfortable hanging out in the swanky neighborhood that my outfit was becoming. And yet I didn’t want to spend money on a dressy watch that I wouldn’t wear that often.
I finally figured I would just put my everyday watch into my purse and take it out occasionally when I needed to see the time. However, that whole idea didn’t thrill me much because I knew that during the hours leading up to the start of the wedding, I would be wanting to know the time about every 93 seconds and the thought of locating my purse, opening it, and dragging out the watch did not engender any joy in my soul.
The Saturday before we left for Florida I happened to be walking through a local thrift store. And I found this. A dressy watch. That worked great. For seven dollars!
Bottom line? Jewelry/purse: free. Watch: $7 Shoes: On sale for $29 (And I bought some little pads to put in them which should make them wearable for future celebratory extravaganzas.)
I paid a little more for the dress than I had wanted to spend (it had been $170, on sale for $90) but I figured it was a pretty big deal to have a son get married and I consoled myself with the thought that everything else came in way under budget and therefore it all balanced out.
And so there you go. The story of the Mother of the Groom outfit. I hadn’t had a reason to get really dressed up for a long time, so the whole thing was an extra fun experience.
I’ll close with a few miscellaneous pictures of other Wedding Stuff. And I promise you at some point that I will stop posting about this subject; you all have been very patient to put up me and my pictures and my stories.
(Please note that due to a forgetful mix up on my part, I did not have my Nikon with me at the wedding so the pictures are not as good as they might have been. I will have the complete camera mix up story coming soon—along with my hair crisis story.)
This picture is so typical of Nathan. He and I were practicing our little mother/groom dance in our hotel room and all of a sudden he just reached out and wrapped me in a bear hug.
I started flapping my arms and yelling, “Nathan, you’re squishing me!” which of course caused him to hug me all the more tightly.
There’s nothing quite like being attacked out of the blue by a Nathan Bear. And may I just say how much I miss those hugs? (Please note Steve grinning in the corner of the mirror.)
Sarah with her cousin, Caleb, who was an usher for the wedding. He lives in Wisconsin with my younger sister, Debbie, and her husband, Randy. They are some of our favorite people in the world.
Some more favorite people.
A definitely non-professional shot of the bridal party but, oh well. Getting ALL the groomsmen in a photo is highly over rated.
I loved this vantage point. This is the candle that was lit during the ceremony in memory of my dad and Sheri’s mom.
And yes, Nathan and I did make it through our dance. Fortunately, he didn’t attack me with the aforementioned bear hug in the middle of it.
Nathan’s best man gave a wonderful speech about Nathan and Meagan which made me quite teary-eyed.
Please also note in this picture the floral centerpiece created by Meagan’s dad, Frank.
Sheri, the mother of bride, watching the wedding photography taking place on the golf course beyond. (And may I just say that bright blue is definitely Sheri’s color—she was radiant.)
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And finally, the mother of the groom, looking at her son and daughter-in-law and being reminded all over again that love is life’s greatest gift
Today’s post is all about the smaller details that make a wedding work because we all know that it’s the little things that make the big picture so memorable.
Let’s start with shoes, shall we?
When we first got to Florida, Meagan showed Sarah the shoes that she had bought for her and the other two bridesmaids. Sarah absolutely loved them and was so excited about wearing them; however, when she tried to walk in them, it was a wee bit less than inspiring because she looked as though she might topple over at any moment. Sarah has not had a whole lot of High Heel Wearing Experience.
We all agreed that a toppling bridesmaid wouldn’t do much to enhance the wedding so Meagan suggested we shop for an easier-to-navigate style and just return the shoes to the (national chain) store when we got home.
Thankfully we were able to find an alternative style for Sarah which were still cute and pink but just a little easier for her to get around in.
And while I’m on the subject of shoes, during a mini rehearsal before the real rehearsal, Meagan put on her wedding shoes so that she could practice getting on and off the platform in them. And then, since they were trying to figure out how much space her train would take up in all of the platform maneuverings, Sheri tucked a piece of crepe paper in the waist band of her shorts to help to "picture" it. I think it’s a very attractive look, don’t you?
Now. For those of you you are really up on fashion stuff, please take note of the extra accent I added to my own Mother of the Groom shoes.
Paper towels! They’re the latest wedding accessory!
Here’s the whole Paper Towel Story:
The wedding party ladies all met at the church early Saturday morning to get ready. When I had finished applying the all-important make up and the even more all-important Spanx, I slid on my new silver sandals and walked around doing last minute stuff. And all was well.
I walked around another minute. And then suddenly, all was not so well.
For no obvious reason, the straps suddenly started sliding down my heels so that I could not walk even one step without flailing and weaving around in an attempt to keep the shoes from falling off my feet altogether. I looked about as regal as a pregnant platypus trying to square dance.
Steve, my own personal Sir Galahad, appeared on the scene and using the file from a nail clipper, punched new holes in each strap to tighten them up.
I was most grateful to him for his ingenuity and I walked around for a few minutes with the newly tightened straps. And all was well again.
Then I walked around a minute or two more. And all was not well. Again.
The straps had slid right back down, leaving me totally incapable of walking. And when I say I couldn’t walk, I am not exaggerating in the least bit. I couldn’t take even one step. And to make things all the more stressful, we were only about ten minutes from the start of the wedding when I was supposed to make my graceful, elegant way down the long, long center aisle on the arm of my handsome nephew, Caleb.
I half thought about grabbing the nearest woman who wore a similarly sized shoe and wrenching her shoes off her feet but I didn’t that think that shoe snatching was proper behavior for the mother of the groom. I then thought briefly about tossing the shoes altogether and making my way down the aisle in a bohemian-esque barefoot fashion, but I figured that that might ruin the whole lovely lavender dress vibe I had going on.
Steve and I huddled frantically in the side hallway of the church’s foyer trying to figure out what to do. He eventually deduced in his analytical male brain that punching another hole was not going to make any difference because my foot was sliding forward in the shoe and without something to hold my foot in place, further hole punching would not help. So with just four minutes to go, he ran into the bathroom, got some paper towels and knelt down in front of me so that he could insert a folded towel into each shoe. He remarked to one curious onlooker, “Now this is a picture of real marriage!” And he was so right.
Happily, the straps stayed up all the way down the aisle and when the wedding was over, they stayed up for the walk back up the aisle; however, about five minutes later, they fell down altogether. I rummaged around and found a pair of lower heels (not half as lovely) to wear during the reception so that I wouldn’t have to be the Barefoot Mother of the Groom for the rest of the day.
And speaking of shoes, Meagan was spotted sporting these darling yellow numbers to the rehearsal. She has such wonderful taste in shoes—and clothes. (I cropped the picture because her head and face were very blurry.)
And my last shoe shot? Nathan and Meagan’s nephew’s teeny tiny dress shoes were left on the top of a pew and I couldn’t resist a picture.
The Buttons
Shoes weren’t the only detail to be attended to during the wedding prep; we also had the Wearing Of The Buttons. For Friday night’s rehearsal, each of the people in the wedding party was presented with a custom made name badge. In fact, even this strange guy who wandered in off the street got one.
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His groomsmen got buttons too—just so that none of them would forget who the other guy was.
Me and my handsome, button-wearing, almost-married, no longer College Dude son.
Pocketbooks
A wedding isn’t just about shoes and buttons though; it’s also about pocketbooks--big and small. After the wedding, as Sheri and I were getting ready to leave for the reception, we looked at each other and just had to laugh; although we had both carried lovely, dressy purse-ettes for the ceremony itself, we immediately went and grabbed our honkin’ big purses at the earliest opportunity. I just can’t do life very well without my big purse and it’s nice to know that Sheri is the same way.
Wedding Programs/Invitations
The last wedding detail to be featured today is the wedding programs. Meagan had a great idea of turning the programs into fans, much like the old-timey church fans back in the days of yesteryear. (Or maybe it was back in the years of yesterday?)
At any rate, Steve, Sarah, and my brother-in-law and nephew set up a little Wedding Fan Production Facility and got them all knocked out in a couple hours.
They turned out so beautifully. On one side was a verse that was meaningful to the couple; you can read Meagan’s mom’s blog for the story behind it.
On the other side of the fan was the listing of wedding party and the ceremony.
The design of the fans tied in perfectly with the wedding invitations and it was just a really fresh, creative look overall. I really loved the fact that Nathan and Meagan’s wedding was very much “them,” right down to utilizing bright, unusual colors.
Not only did I love the bright colors, Snowy approved of them also. He just thought you might want to know. (And yes, he really does need a haircut!)
Before I respond to a few comments, here’s a photo of the bride and groom about to leave for their honeymoon. (Nathan had to leave his tux behind since it had to returned to the rental place that afternoon.) I just absolutely love the expressions on their faces because there’s much joy and contentment there.
It was a day full of big details, small details—and much, much happiness.
Much more Wedding Stuff to come!
Comments
Lisa from Georgia said, “I posted last night after first hearing the song. Now, that I have listened several more times, would you consider selling the music? I can imagine many future brides wanting to make this their song. I understand if you want to keep it special for Nate and Megan, but it is seems too pretty to keep hidden.”
Lisa, thanks for the compliment; so glad you’ve liked the song well enough to listen to it several times.
As for selling the music to other brides, I think the biggest challenge in doing so is that the song is so specific to Nathan and Meagan (as far as them meeting when they were both still kids) that the lyrics would probably not apply to many other couples. But I’m honored that you would suggest the idea!
Lisa also said, “Are any of your songs currently available on iTunes? I would love to have some of the songs from Like a Blanket for my I-pod. I cannot find the CD I had and really miss the music.”
Lisa, the only song that’s on iTunes is “Like A Blanket” but it’s not the version that we recorded. I would be happy to e-mail single songs to you in an Mp3 format for a minimal cost if you e-mail me and give me an idea of which ones you would want.
Buff said, “Just wondering...did Megan's wedding dress bustle in the back? I've noticed several pictures where it is not..hopefully she didn't have to hold it up through the whole reception!”
Buff, yes thankfully, Meagan’s dress did have a bustle which definitely made life a whole lot easier for her during the reception.
Debbie said, “I love the black and white dress Megan is wearing! Was that her reception dress or was that after the reception was over? Her wedding dress was so beautiful I imagine she wanted to stay in that as long as possible.”
Debbie, that picture was actually taken several years ago of Nathan and Meagan in High School. I agree with you—it was a gorgeous dress!
Well, you guys really know how to make a girl cry, don’t you? (In a good way, of course.)
I have read and re-read your messages concerning my song and just when I think you all can’t say anything any nicer, you do. My songwriting heart is utterly full today.
Sarah is staying overnight with a friend tonight so Steve and I are having a date night consisting of grilling fresh tuna that a church member gave us and watching a movie. He is currently vacuuming the entire downstairs of our house—if that’s not a prelude to a good date, I don’t know what is!
I’ll leave you with a couple miscellaneous picture from the wedding to tide you over until the next round of stories and pictures begins.
Again, thank you so very much to each of you who took the time to comment and let me know that the wedding song touched you. I’ve floated along in the glow of your kindness all day today
And now, the pictures.
Meagan danced with all THREE Mr. Smiths at the reception and was truly the belle of the ball. (Sorry about the picture quality; I had a camera issue which I’ll write about later.) But even a little blurriness can’t obscure happiness!
Back in March when Meagan and Nathan were visiting us, she took me out to lunch for my birthday. After we’d finished eating and were just sitting and chatting she said, “I have a favor to ask. I would love for you to write a song for our wedding as a surprise for Nathan. Would you be willing to do that?”
Well, you have to understand that I had not written a song in about nine years (ever since Sarah was diagnosed with cancer) and I did not feel at all qualified to write anything as special as a wedding song. But how could I say no to such a precious privilege?
I told her I would be willing to try and she went on to say, “I’m picturing the first verse being written from your perspective, maybe looking back to when he was a boy. The second verse would be written from my perspective as his wife and the chorus would have lyrics that would be appropriate for both a mom and a wife so that we could sing it as a duet.”
A couple weeks after that conversation, Meagan sent me an email with a few sentiments to base her verse on and the songwriting began in earnest. Over the next few weeks, I spent hours at the grand piano in the church, writing down words, scratching out words, reworking melodies and even doing some crying over all the emotion involved. Sometimes I’d get discouraged and say, “I just cannot write this song!” and then other times I’d get excited when things started to coalesce.
Finally, after eight or ten hours of work, I had a rough draft ready for Steve to listen to. As I sang, I was encouraged to see that he also got choked up on the verses, just the way I did. (A songwriter always feels happy when she is able to move a listener emotionally.)
Steve complimented the song and said that he loved the melody and the overall feel of it; however, he added that he didn’t think the chorus was as strong as the verses so we sat down at the piano together and started working on a rewrite. When he had finished with his input, I spent a few more hours on it myself and finally had a semi-finished rough draft ready. (This was about three weeks before the wedding so the deadline was looming large.)
All during the writing process, when I was feeling inadequate and not quite up to accomplishing such an intimidating task, I kept comforting myself with the thought, “Well, this song is not going to be a big feature of the ceremony; it will no doubt be played in the background while they’re doing something else and no one will even notice it very much.”
However. My cell phone rang one day and it was Meagan. She said, “Oh, I have such a great idea about the song you’re writing!”
I tentatively asked what that great idea might be and she said, “I have decided that I am going to have your song playing while I walk down the aisle! Isn’t that just wonderful?”
I closed my eyes. I felt my heart flutter in my chest. I saw my life flash before my eyes.
Did I just hear my son’s future wife say that my song was going to be used as the music for the processional? The Big Important Processional? My song? The song I was so sure would be somewhere way in the background of the ceremony?
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
I didn’t think I should share my chaotic misgivings with the excited bride-to-be so I just said, “Meagan, that’s a great idea. Let me look at the song again before I send it to you and just make sure the lyrics and the melody are suitable for what you’re envisioning.” We chatted a few more minutes about other wedding stuff and then hung up.
I sat there at the kitchen table with my phone in my hand and stared out the front window as an amalgam of anxiety, joy and consternation rippled through my brain. You have to understand that this conversation took place just a couple days after the whole song critic episode when one of my best songs had gotten ripped apart. My confidence level as a songwriter had dipped to an all time low.
That evening, I headed back over to the piano at church to play through what I already had and to my joy, I realized that the words I had written for Meagan’s verse would actually do very nicely as a processional. (Big sigh of relief.)
I spent a couple more hours fine tuning the lyrics to make them even more appropriate and then sent the song off so that Meagan could hear it for the first time. After a little while she texted me and said, “I love the verses; they are just perfect!”
And that was all. Nothing about the chorus. Which meant that I still had some more work to do.
We talked the next morning and she said that she would love the chorus to talk more about love and emotion than it did, so I set off to work some more, looking for words that were evocative, joyful and love-filled but still suitable to be sung by both a mom and a wife. It was a bit challenging and my confidence started drifting even lower. And lower. Just two weeks to the wedding and what I had wasn’t working. And even worse, as much as I pondered various ideas and solutions, I couldn’t seem to make anything work.
One night at about 8:30, I sat alone at the piano in our dark, empty church auditorium and worked for over an hour with no results. I finally lay my head down on the piano and started crying. I was so frustrated and so intimidated by the whole songwriting process, especially after all those years of not writing anything. And in my head, I heard echoes of the online critic telling me I was a horrible writer who wrote disaster pieces instead of masterpieces. The wedding was coming up soon and the song wasn’t working and I had no idea how to fix any of it. I was so incredibly honored to have been given the opportunity and yet I was starting to believe I just wasn’t up to the challenge.
After a few minutes of sinking into a morass of creative self doubt, I quietly prayed, “Help me, Lord.” Almost immediately, a tiny thought stood up and knocked at the edge of my consciousness and I lifted my head from the piano and spoke aloud into the quietness, “Why don’t I just get rid of the chorus altogether?”
In its current permutation, my song was set up in the most common form which is verse, chorus, verse, chorus. That’s fine for most songs. However, by virtue of where it comes in a song, a chorus is almost always bigger than the verses and provides much of the lift and the drama of a song.
I realized that it wouldn’t work to use that formula in a song destined to be a Wedding March because of the roller coaster effect of a quiet verse followed by a big chorus and then back to a quiet verse again. In a song used for a processional, there can only be one Big Moment, and that is when the back doors swing open and the bride enters the sanctuary.
In just half a second, I saw my problem and in another half a second, I found my solution. I suddenly understood what would give the song wings.
I finished the song that night and sent it off to Meagan the next day with a note explaining why I had taken out the choruses. She told me later than when she read the email she couldn’t quite imagine what I was talking about. A song with no chorus? But when she actually heard the recording, she understood the concept. And loved it.
When we got to Florida last week, she told Nathan she was going out to “run an errand.” The errand consisted of meeting me at her parent’s church, along with her brother-in-law, John, who would play the song on keyboard and oversee the recording of it. (John also co-performed the wedding ceremony.) Even though I had written the song at the piano, I told John I would like him to play it on the recording since he is an accomplished keyboardist and could throw in some wonderful musical extras to really make it shine.
On the morning of the wedding, the bridesmaids came down the aisle to music played on the piano. As that musical piece finished up, my "mom verse" of the recorded song began to play while Nathan and his groomsmen walked to the front of the church and the flower girl and ring bearer started down the aisle. Nathan, resplendent in tuxedo-clad handsomeness, looked happy but slightly puzzled as my voice came out of the speakers; he was expecting the Wedding March which had been played for the rehearsal the night before.
However, his puzzlement quickly faded away when the song began its transition into the key change and the grand chords leading into Meagan’s verse burst out of the speakers. The congregation stood, the back doors swung open and Meagan appeared on her Dad’s arm, smiling brighter than any bride I have ever seen--even as her voice came over the speaker pledging her love and her life to the man who was waiting for her.
I reveled in the sight of her loveliness for a moment and then I turned around to catch a glimpse of my son’s sweet face. It is a face I know so very well and up until that moment, I thought I had every single Nathan expression memorized.
I was wrong.
Nathan was trying so hard to smile but he could only cry, his hazel eyes filling with tears and his lips trembling with emotion. The look on his face was as though he had just caught a glimpse of something quite glorious. And he had.
As I watched him I wondered if maybe part of the sweet emotion of that moment was due to the fact that he and Meagan had made and kept vows of purity to each other until marriage. But whatever the reason, there was a holy electricity in the air, a settled peace, a deep joy.
That moment was meaningful to me personally on so many levels. As I stood and watched Meagan walk toward my son to the music I had written, I was grateful to feel my songwriting insecurities fall away.
All I felt was the happiness of two jobs well done—raising a son and writing a song.
Here’s the song; lyrics are below.
1. When you were just a little boy
You brought me flowers, you brought me joy
And I never thought those days would ever end
But here you stand, all grown up now
To take a wife, and make a vow
That you’ll love her as a husband and a friend
I remember younger days, when you would go outside and play
And I’d watch you through the window and I’d smile
Rosy cheeks and skinned up knees, “Will you kiss my owie, mommy, please”
How I love the man, who used to be that child
Yeah, I love the man, who grew up from that child
2. Today I’ll pledge my life to you
Today I’ll stand and say, “I do”
I will take the name of the blessing God has sent
Can’t help but stand in awe of what
The Lord has done to build our love
I have prayed for you, my husband, and my friend
I can still remember when, we first met, you were only ten
And every time we talked, you made me smile
And now a new day has begun, oh what a treasure you’ve become
How I love the man who used to be that child
Yeah, I love the man who grew up from that child
Love is the song, we are the melody
Today we’ll start writing our own memories
ENDING (It was Meagan's idea to slightly re-write the first part of her verse and include it here; it was a perfect way to end the song.)
Today we’ll pledge our love so true
Today we’ll stand and say “I do”
We will thank the Lord for the love that He has sent
Can’t help but stand in awe of what
The Lord has done to grow our love
I have prayed for you, my husband, and my friend.
I won’t have any pictures of Meagan coming down the aisle in her gown until we get the professional photos back, but here is Meagan walking down the aisle to the song when we played it during a “pre-rehearsal” rehearsal. (In other words, Nathan wasn’t present for it.)
I’ve spent a couple hours over the last day working on a post about the wedding song that I wrote for Nathan and Meagan. When that post is finished it will include the story behind the writing of the song, an actual recording of the song and the lyrics. I’m hoping to have it done by the end of the day but in the meantime, I have another story for you.
Yesterday at noon, our doorbell rang and we opened the door to find these two lovely ladies standing on the porch.
Jennifer (the mom) and Rebecca (the daughter) are visiting the United States from England. Rebecca is a faithful Smithellaneous reader (and at eighteen, one of the youngest) and she emailed a few weeks ago to say they would be in the area and asked if it would be possible to meet.
But of course!
I love meeting Smithellaneous readers and I cannot begin to tell you what a delightful time we had with our new friends. We spent two hours discussing our respective countries and learned fascinating facts about each others’ cultures, idioms, education, care of the elderly, universities, career training, slang, entertainment, flags, food, and transportation.
Jennifer is a teacher who is very passionate about her job; it was inspiring to hear how much she loves making a difference in the lives of her kids. Rebecca will start college this fall to become a midwife; I was especially interested to hear how she described England’s treatment of pregnant women. She said that unless an expectant mother has complications, she will not see a doctor for the entirety of her pregnancy, all the way through delivery and postnatal care--the midwife handles it all. The reason for this is that pregnancy is not seen as an illness and non-illnesses shouldn’t require doctors. I thought that perspective was quite fascinating.
Of course, it goes without saying that even when we were talking about the most prosaic of subjects, Rebecca and Jennifer's accents lent to their words the most dignified and amazing charm.
Sarah has always loved all things English and she and I and Steve would absolutely love to visit the country someday. Also, Sarah's friend, Taylor, was with us for the day and since she is in school dramas and loves studying accents, she was especially intrigued by the conversation.
When our new friends had driven away, Sarah, Taylor and I stood on the porch and all agreed that we felt like never speaking another word ever again because we could never measure up to the loveliness of that appealing English accent.
But after a little thought, Sarah and Taylor decided that they would just compensate by speaking in English accents for the rest of the day; after all, they’d just been through two hours of language by immersion. They were actually quite good at it and it was nice to have the English atmosphere extended for a little longer after our new friends had left.
Thanks, Rebecca and Jennifer, for bringing a spot of English brightness to our day.
In the midst of all the wedding planning a couple months ago, Meagan called to tell us that she and Nathan had decided that the whole wedding party would travel from the church to the reception in a motorhome.
Yes, a motor home. Not a limo, not a vintage car, not a fancy convertible—a motorhome!
Some of you who are new readers might wonder why in the world a newly married couple would choose such an unorthodox mode of transport.
The reason? Nathan spent twelve years of his life living in a recreational vehicle and Meagan spent five years of her life doing the same. (Both sets of parents were involved in full time traveling/preaching/singing ministries that included their entire families.)
In fact, Nathan picked up Meagan for their first “date” from a fifth wheel travel trailer. (They were just good friends at that point.)
And so with their combined history . . .
. . . the Unorthodox Getaway Vehicle Idea was just too great to pass up.
Fun fact: Speaking of families in the ministry, I did an informal tally of all the ministers Nathan and Meagan have in their lives. Between them, they have two grandpas, two dads, two moms, two uncles and one brother-in-law who are all ministers. Just one of the many wonderful things they have in common!
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