As someone who has lost both parents grief is something that never really goes away. I lost my Dad first, eight years later my Mom - and the day she died, no matter that I was 40 years old - I felt like an orphan. Knowing the two people you could always depend on are gone is a terrible feeling. (((hugs)))
What a lovely and heartbreaking post Becky. The pictures are beautiful and I find myself thankful for all the photos I have of family-such great reminders of life important times--happy and sad times. I especially like the one of your dad on the beach... *hugs*
I lost my mom when I was 19 and my Dad when I was 28 ~ and I felt like an orphan, also...no one will ever love you like your parents love you. (Except, of course, our Heavenly Father.)
We are funny creatures aren't we? I have my next door neighbor on speed dial on our home phone. She died almost 2 yrs ago & we loved her very much. Once I tried to remove it & must have done it wrong, it's still there & sometime I will try it again.
it is a process, a long process and it is not the same for any two people. next month april 21st will mark two years since my dad passed and i still find times where waves of things wash over me and i want to break down. i have gotten better at not breaking down but sometimes crying is a relief even if it seems like i'm doing it for no reason.
Becky, I lost my dad 5 1/2 years ago and cannot erase his address and phone number from my address book! I definitely think grief is a long process that never really ends, but the hurt lessens as we cling to happy, loving memories. Best, Debbie in Sacramento
Becky, my mother passed away in June. She is still in my phone contacts and her email address is still in my address book. I've also not been able to delete any of the emails she sent me in the months right before her death. Quite honestly I don't think I will ever delete those. It's comforting to me to see her "Hi Honey" in print from time to time. April is when her cancer reared it's ugly head (again) and it's (April) is almost here. Thinking about what was happening a year ago is hard. So, I will quit now.
As other's have mentioned, when your last parent dies, and you are an orphan, it's a different feeling. A club I didn't want to join so soon.
My Paw-Paw passed away 2 years ago. I never really realized that I kept their cell phone entry as "Maw-Maw & Paw-Paw" until a few weeks ago. I bought a new cell phone and when it came to entering the number in my contacts, I simply put "Maw-Maw". It was a really hard thing to do....
I so empathize with your grief. My dad died in January of 09. I still have "Mom & Dad" in my phone list---however I did switch my contacts in email to say just "Mom." It is funny how those seemingly little things get you, isn't it? Sometimes I still can't believe I never get to talk to my precious dad again. Grief is hard. SO thankful for the promise of eternal life, though---I know where my dad is---with God!
What a wonderful post you wrote today. My dad has been gone for almost 23 years and sometimes a song will come on and I cry and miss him terribly. My mom passed on almost 2 years ago and I still have her in my phone! Just cannot erase it yet. I miss her so much, we were so close. but God and time heals and it is so much better as i go on and I know mom and dad are so happy to be together again in Heaven. Thanks for sharing
I have a picture of my dad on my desk at home, very similar to the one you have of your dad by the sea. It is a comfort to me to think of him just like that, where he loved to be the most. My father has been gone since 1998. There are moments it is as fresh as that afternoon of October 30, 1998 and then there are signs all around me that he is still there watching me and guiding me and protecting me. I am glad you wrote this post. I feel it is something you needed to write down. Writing it out is part of the process also. Thank God for Sarah and her sweet words and comfort. I hope you feel your Dad near you. There are many steps to this journey. You have to let yourself feel them when you take one. God Bless.
I lost my best friend on July 3, 2008,and I still have not erased her name from my cell phone, even though I know the number no longer works. For months though after her death, I would call the number just to hear her voice on the other end. She was 42 and left behind five beautiful children ages 6 to 14 including a set of twins who were born with neuroblastoma. Bless you on your grief journey. Lisa from Georgia
Boy, as much as I love your photos, as much as I love your sweet family stories or sharing of a silly moment...this is the writing that always captures my heart. This is the writing that takes truth and makes it discernible in its universality.
I love this writing...and all the love it stands upon.
Wow Becky. You are right on. And you explain it so beautifully. I pretty much want to print the entire post, frame it and put it on my wall. I just might.
Becky - I haven't started the grieving process of loosing my father - or so people say I haven't, because he's still here.. but he's in the end stage of cancer, soon to be on hospice and right now needing someone with him 24/7. It's rough *right now* and I even got to talk to him on the phone the other day (and was back in Blacksburg last week with him). My pastor friend, who I've been spending time talking about all this with, says the grief and pain that comes with this is the story of the love between my father and I. When the grief hits I take comfort in her words.
Fwiw - it took switching phones in August of 2009 to finally delete my grandmother from my phone - and she died in Feb of 2003. My friend Dave died last March and he's still in my phone. I don't know if I'll ever be able to delete my father.
My father passed less than two weeks ago. The tears haven't stopped since I read the first two sentences. I never imagined the pain I would feel as he struggled for several years through heart complications. With my raw emotions, as you shared, I find most painful when I hear a song he loved, see a food he savored in the store, going through the pack with his wallet & keys & meds he carried around with him every day. I miss his phone calls and emails. I'm heavily burdened with various regrets and guilt that I know has already been forgiven... it's just so hard to let it go. Naomi
22 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):
As someone who has lost both parents grief is something that never really goes away. I lost my Dad first, eight years later my Mom - and the day she died, no matter that I was 40 years old - I felt like an orphan. Knowing the two people you could always depend on are gone is a terrible feeling. (((hugs)))
Cindy
Virginia
What a lovely and heartbreaking post Becky. The pictures are beautiful and I find myself thankful for all the photos I have of family-such great reminders of life important times--happy and sad times. I especially like the one of your dad on the beach...
*hugs*
I lost my mom when I was 19 and my Dad when I was 28 ~ and I felt like an orphan, also...no one will ever love you like your parents love you. (Except, of course, our Heavenly Father.)
Great post, thank you for sharing!
L in AK
Beautiful Post Becky. My Dad passed in August 07 and I still have his email address in my contacts. {sigh}
All in good time. . .
Hugs
We are funny creatures aren't we? I have my next door neighbor on speed dial on our home phone. She died almost 2 yrs ago & we loved her very much. Once I tried to remove it & must have done it wrong, it's still there & sometime I will try it again.
Margie M
it is a process, a long process and it is not the same for any two people. next month april 21st will mark two years since my dad passed and i still find times where waves of things wash over me and i want to break down. i have gotten better at not breaking down but sometimes crying is a relief even if it seems like i'm doing it for no reason.
I don't want my children to have to backspace through my name ......:(
I so want to protect them ::sigh::
Becky,
I lost my dad 5 1/2 years ago and cannot erase his address and phone number from my address book! I definitely think grief is a long process that never really ends, but the hurt lessens as we cling to happy, loving memories.
Best,
Debbie in Sacramento
I just wanted to say I loved your post. So well written and so true.
Thank you!
R.
Becky, my mother passed away in June. She is still in my phone contacts and her email address is still in my address book. I've also not been able to delete any of the emails she sent me in the months right before her death. Quite honestly I don't think I will ever delete those. It's comforting to me to see her "Hi Honey" in print from time to time. April is when her cancer reared it's ugly head (again) and it's (April) is almost here. Thinking about what was happening a year ago is hard. So, I will quit now.
As other's have mentioned, when your last parent dies, and you are an orphan, it's a different feeling. A club I didn't want to join so soon.
Thanks for the post. It was lovely. Elaine
My Paw-Paw passed away 2 years ago. I never really realized that I kept their cell phone entry as "Maw-Maw & Paw-Paw" until a few weeks ago. I bought a new cell phone and when it came to entering the number in my contacts, I simply put "Maw-Maw". It was a really hard thing to do....
I so empathize with your grief. My dad died in January of 09. I still have "Mom & Dad" in my phone list---however I did switch my contacts in email to say just "Mom." It is funny how those seemingly little things get you, isn't it? Sometimes I still can't believe I never get to talk to my precious dad again. Grief is hard. SO thankful for the promise of eternal life, though---I know where my dad is---with God!
What a wonderful post you wrote today. My dad has been gone for almost 23 years and sometimes a song will come on and I cry and miss him terribly. My mom passed on almost 2 years ago and I still have her in my phone! Just cannot erase it yet. I miss her so much, we were so close. but God and time heals and it is so much better as i go on and I know mom and dad are so happy to be together again in Heaven. Thanks for sharing
My dad died almost 3 years ago. I miss him every day and it still amazes me when and what causes me overwhelming grief.
Thanks for your beautiful entry today.
What a fabulously compassionate daughter you have.
Prayers and hugs,
Connie F-G
Such a beautiful post. What a wonderful dad. I lost my dad over 10 years ago and the sting is still there. I think it always will be.
Hugs,
Lisa
I have a picture of my dad on my desk at home, very similar to the one you have of your dad by the sea. It is a comfort to me to think of him just like that, where he loved to be the most. My father has been gone since 1998. There are moments it is as fresh as that afternoon of October 30, 1998 and then there are signs all around me that he is still there watching me and guiding me and protecting me. I am glad you wrote this post. I feel it is something you needed to write down. Writing it out is part of the process also. Thank God for Sarah and her sweet words and comfort. I hope you feel your Dad near you. There are many steps to this journey. You have to let yourself feel them when you take one. God Bless.
I lost my best friend on July 3, 2008,and I still have not erased her name from my cell phone, even though I know the number no longer works. For months though after her death, I would call the number just to hear her voice on the other end. She was 42 and left behind five beautiful children ages 6 to 14 including a set of twins who were born with neuroblastoma. Bless you on your grief journey.
Lisa from Georgia
Boy, as much as I love your photos, as much as I love your sweet family stories or sharing of a silly moment...this is the writing that always captures my heart. This is the writing that takes truth and makes it discernible in its universality.
I love this writing...and all the love it stands upon.
Wow Becky. You are right on. And you explain it so beautifully. I pretty much want to print the entire post, frame it and put it on my wall. I just might.
Becky -
I haven't started the grieving process of loosing my father - or so people say I haven't, because he's still here.. but he's in the end stage of cancer, soon to be on hospice and right now needing someone with him 24/7. It's rough *right now* and I even got to talk to him on the phone the other day (and was back in Blacksburg last week with him). My pastor friend, who I've been spending time talking about all this with, says the grief and pain that comes with this is the story of the love between my father and I. When the grief hits I take comfort in her words.
Fwiw - it took switching phones in August of 2009 to finally delete my grandmother from my phone - and she died in Feb of 2003. My friend Dave died last March and he's still in my phone. I don't know if I'll ever be able to delete my father.
My father passed less than two weeks ago. The tears haven't stopped since I read the first two sentences. I never imagined the pain I would feel as he struggled for several years through heart complications. With my raw emotions, as you shared, I find most painful when I hear a song he loved, see a food he savored in the store, going through the pack with his wallet & keys & meds he carried around with him every day. I miss his phone calls and emails. I'm heavily burdened with various regrets and guilt that I know has already been forgiven... it's just so hard to let it go. Naomi
What a beautiful post. The circle of life is not always easy to accept but it continues in circle regardless. Thank you for your words.
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