Friday, January 7, 2011

I Am Not Amused.

Hi. Snowy here.

So here’s the deal.

Today started out like any other day. I got up early, did my business, did my yawns, did my stretches, greeted The Fam and had my gourmet repast of canned dog food with a bit of baby food mixed in. (Hey, my doctor recommended the baby food for my bad macho self, so stop your snickering.)

Anyway.

By the time I got all that important business tended to, it was time to move on to the first task of the day which is taking Sarah to school

Sigh.

With everything else I’ve got on my schedule, it’s a bit tough for me to break away and run my sister back and forth all the time; however, Mom always says she needs me to go along with her as Head of Security and keep an eye on all the dangerous criminals who may be afoot. And since Mom is the fount from whom all (food) blessings flow, I usually acquiesce to her requests. (And if you don’t have an impressive doggie vocab like mine? Acquiesce means to say yes.)

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So anyway, we got the Sarah Trip over and done with (zero criminals spotted), and I strolled back into the house contemplating a bit more breakfast followed by my first nap of the day.

As per usual, mom had a camera within reach and when I finished eating and turned around, she snapped my picture. Does this woman ever stop?

Now I’ve heard it said that being sick can change a person’s appearance and I suppose that’s true for us Canine Types as well. I mean, look at me. Do I look like the Snowy you’ve always known and loved?

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NO?

Um. Wait. What’s going on here?

Why is Mom suddenly taking pictures of another fluffy, cute white creature besides myself. And who IS that strange fluffy creature anyway?

What’s going on?

Mom?

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Anyone?

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Right smack dab in the middle of that most puzzling of moments, I happened to notice that my mother was chuckling cheerily to herself and it very quickly occurred to me that she had just played a mean trick on me. She had seen this fluffy white dog of Sarah’s and thought it would be fun to find out what I would do when I saw it.

Sigh.

Such juvenile behavior on the part of a 48-year old woman. It’s obvious that the poor ol’ girl doesn’t get out much.

Anyway, I decided to chalk it all up to the Mysterious Ways of Women and then wandered off to make sure everything in the house was secure. And also to take my nap. Of course.

When I meandered back into the kitchen a few naps, er, minutes later, you’ll never guess what I saw. The same goofy white creature was still there, except it (he? she?) had been moved to a different place.

Is Mom taking this whole thing a bit far, or what?

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Mom? The joke is wearing a little thin, here.

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Well, I guess that in order to humor the Fount of All Food Blessings, I should play along a little, sniff a bit, and try to look intrigued so that Mom will think that this is truly something worth investing our time and energies into.

I mean, really. We could be searching for solutions to world peace or at least trying to invent a dog food that tastes like hot dogs. But no. We’re wasting valuable moments of our valuable lives going through this whole foolish fluffy farce.

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After I sniff a little, I suddenly notice something interesting through the front window.

Look! Shiny! (No. My powers of concentration are not well developed. Why do you ask?)

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Finally I declare, “I have had enough” because, well, I have had enough.

And then I blow the joint.

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Because truthfully?

I really don’t have the stomach for this kind of thing. This strange furry creature comes into MY kitchen and tries to usurp MY spot on the floor and distracts MY mother from taking pictures of MY cuteness!

I am not amused.

This is Snowy. Signing off.

12 Had Something To Say (Just click here!):

Anonymous said...

Snowy, just know that you are the cutest, little, white dog I have ever seen.

Maybe if you are looking to get out of the house a few hours a day; you can get a job seeking out the bad guys on the streets of Manteo. You would make a great K-9Dog!

BIG HUGS!

Anonymous said...

Snowy, You know how mom's are, sometimes you just have to humor them. But, that only makes you more loveable to them . . . can't you just hear the, "Oh, you won't believe what my dear, little Snowy did when I put out Sarah's fluffy white dog! He is just the smartest dog!" And you can just sit there looking smart knowing that she didn't fool you for a minute! Lots of love to you all!

Kyna Petersen said...

Love this post and Snowy is so sweet. I have had jury duty all week, so I am behind on reading your posts! I was estatic to hear that Snowy's liver is better!!! Answered prayers! I also loved the post about Nathan. If you haven't seen Toy Story 3 you need to. Grab some first kleenex though!

Anonymous said...

So funny!

Mary H said...

Um, Snowy, you are much, much more handsome than that imposter white fluffy dog - no worries, be happy! Good to hear from you Stud Muffin. Have a great weekend.

Rachel said...

LOL

becky m said...

Well i for one am certainly chuckling over here. that was just too cute, the white fluffy dog and the whole tone of the writing.

Anonymous said...

Snowy,
I just gotta say that that creature's legs just can't compete with the cuteness of your poodle-legs!

hmmm, maybe the Preschoolers could send you a mama doll/creature that you could place in Mama's chair. Wonder what her reaction would be, don't you?

woof and love from
mrs pam

Anonymous said...

This is a riot! What cute dogs. Jill-FL

Deb Mathy said...

Hey Snowy! Just wanted to let you know that your Mamma didnt have me foolwqaed for one red second either! She gave it her "A" game though - you are one of the 3 cutest little doggies in the world....(tied with my two, of course) My oldest seems to lead a life almost identical to yours - with lots of naps because she thinks she needs to guard the neighborhood; however our 2nd doggie's favorite thing is to play ball.....but we love them wirh all of our hearts!

Guerrina said...

Snowy, I thinks it's very important that you accompany Mom on any trip outside of the house. You're the best companion and guard and it's sounding like you really need to supervise her...she may need more fresh air or something! :)

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